At the end of the month, I’m toddling off to New York with my 3 Little Beers. We’ll be there for twelve full days, and I have to believe it will feel like The Twelve Days of Christmas: a frenzied rush of plans, of back and forth calls, and calendar checks. Lots of family time and Bing Crosby. Scheduling with friends. And must-go-or-I’ll-die places I’ve missed. I always want to do so much, coming with a list in hand of all the places we’ll go, only to spend most of my time in my father’s house, not doing much of anything.

I guess I let the idea of it feel hard. I hate being a shut in! But the logistics of travel sound gruesome. We’ll be staying with Phil’s family in Queens, and also with my father and Carol on Long Island. Naturally the grandparents want as much time with the tots as they can get (and I’ll take them up on it, so I can grab my camera and spend the day just walking the city), but for the most part, I don’t want to be shut in with the taters. I want to do things with them.

Smelly has a baby girl named after a chandelier (according to me and my theory), whom I still haven’t met! I absolutely want Lucas and Abigail to have play dates with my New York girls who knew me long before I turned parental. I’ll need lots of time with Dulce, and I have a feeling she’ll want, more than anything, to take Luke & Abby to Dylan’s Candy Bar, to let them run wild. I hope to get my Monique on, too. Ooh, and Rachey Rach and her new baby girl (named after a headboard slipcover), and Kang with her sweet boy. See… lots of play dates!

I want to take my little monkeys on museum and zoo dates (specifically, to the Bronx Zoo), to fill paper bags with fresh bread and head to The Roslyn Duck Pond, to take them to the planetarium and for Frozen Hot Chocolate at Serendipity III (a staple of my childhood). I want to spend time with my cousins and all their children, to visit Damien at his restaurant, to meet up with all the girls I miss. But… I don’t know how I’ll make it all happen. Take the Long Island RR with a double stroller and a ginormous diaper bag, land in Penn Station, and then what? Beg for help? There’s not a chance in hell I’m putting them in a cab without car seats, so that’s out. Most elevators don’t work at subway stops, and it’s not physically possible to hold their hands to ensure they ascend the stairs safely, while also managing a stroller and diaper bag, and certainly not in cute shoes. So it looks like I’ll need to drive everywhere in my step-sister’s car. Thinking aloud here, sorry.

I might head to Amherst, MA for a fat camp visit, but only if I can talk Adam into meeting me there. I’m most looking forward to taking Lucas and Abigail to the ocean. Robert Moses was always my Long Island beach of choice given its proximity to the nude beach. My mother and I liked to sit on the edge and watch how unsuspecting passersby reacted to the jiggling naughty bits. It was especially entertaining when a pickup game of hackey sack began.

Then I’m off to East Hampton to stay with Alexandra (from Straight Up & Dirty), who just had a sweet baby boy (named after a wool jute rug!) I wonder if toes are on The South Beach Diet. On Saturday, August 8, I’ll get to frolic about and play with Jen Lancaster at Authors Night 2009. It’ll be a magical night, so if you’re in the Hamptons come!

What does one wear to such a party? I’ll admit, I haven’t thought of me (for once!). Mostly because when shit doesn’t fit, it’s so much more fun to spend my time obsessing over adorable clothes for the cubs. Here’s some of what I’ll be purchasing for him and her.