Oh, the irony. Here I’ve been playing nice with the South Beach Diet since last Friday: no sugar, no fruit, no carbs, no starch, no hooch, no sex; and wouldn’t you know, I had already RSVP’d "HELLS YES!" to an invitation to an Austin Food Blogger’s Potluck. Despite working as a food critic, being employed at Zagat, and writing a memoir with a chapter titled, Are You There God, It’s Me, Pound Cake?–and another memoir with a chapter titled, The Oral Sex South Beach Diet–I’m not exactly a food blogger. So, naturally, I jumped at the chance to attend. These are my kinda people!
Like me, each of them considers their food. Deeply. They contemplate. When first tasting a dish, they enjoy spending their time trying to determine each of the ingredients. It’s like a fun puzzle, except Curious George doesn’t go with the Man In The Yellow Hat to the hospital for an X-RAY this time. You swallow the puzzle pieces and spend the night discussing them. Curiosity is rewarded among foodies. The people I’ve met so far are the type to, mid-bite, already begin to plan their next meal, discussing the latest food "destinations," and how what they’ve just nibbled might be improved. "You think if I added cinnamon to those blueberries, they’d intensify? It needs more of a pop than lemon juice can deliver on its own." Holy sugarsnaps, yes!
Oh, fudge-sickle, no. I’m in "Phase 1" of the South Beach Diet! It’ll be fine. It will. I’m sure they’ll make us wear name tags. I’ll write on mine, "CARBS ARE MY ENEMY. YOU WILL BE TOO IF YOU OFFER ME ANY." Now then, I need to bring a dish tonight that feeds 6 people (even though many more will be attending). It must dazzle and surprise. I was planning on making petite mincemeat purses, with a low-fat buttermilk chive dressing. But being in phase one, I can only eat the contents of the purse, not the purse itself. Story of my life, really.
"Complex flavor profiles?" Eh, I’d prefer to work on my own profile thanks. Any foodie potluck suggestions? You know, that I can actually eat?
A YEAR AGO: Some Old and Then Some New Tricks: Let Me Disappoint You
2 YEARS AGO: Blogging Walls
5 YEARS AGO: Mouse Tomato