Diva Boutique in West Hollywood on Melrose far exceeded its name (by a few letters): assholes.
Words from the terribly pushy owner/saleswoman "helping" me: "You’re wearing it wrong." "It’s only twenty dollars." "No, let me get your size; I don’t want you to mess up the table." "That’s all you’re getting?" "No, you can’t use AMEX, only for really big purchases."
I don’t ordinarily wish harm on anyone, but just in her case, I wish that I might get an overwhelming case of ‘rhea in her store, let it drip on her floors, then mention nothing of it, walking out, wiping with her clothes. My lover Leigha and I felt dirty after leaving there. Add insult to injury, the clothes across the street (7423 Melrose Ave) at Flirt were much cuter.
Flirt (and the owner Lisa) were an absolute pleasure (except for the lack of AC–which she’d readily admit). I tried on almost everything, but when I was uncertain about a certain top, I called out to Leigha, "Will you try it on? I need to see if I’m jealous."
It was an off-the-shoulder top, white with washes and splashes of electric blue, green, maybe even some yellow. Everything looks good on Leigha, everything. Sacks. Thin white pants. A robe. Fluorescent lighting. Everything. Even the shit that rides up her crotch… she points to it, laughs, then mentions that the shorts, um, itch. So after seeing the top in question on an unquestionably beautiful woman, the fact that I wasn’t eying her girly goods with awe gave me the answer I needed. "It’s a no."
This is my favorite thing about shopping with a friend, especially an adorable gumdrop of a friend. It’s one thing to see an article of clothing on a hanger, in a catalog, or even on a mannequin, but it is quite another when you see it on a friend and want to strike her to the ground for it. Leigha understood completely, revealing that she Jealousy Tests all the time with her sister. Tossing her "maybe" jeans over the fitting room wall with a, "Here, Jealousy Test ’em." She might not know if she wants them, but as soon as she’s worked into a frenetic state of clothing envy when she sees them on her sister, the case is closed.. and the wallet is open. This goes for shoes and jewels, not men. Just fyi.
My next stop? Nashville, TN: Southern Festival of Books this coming weekend.
Saturday, October 10, 12:30-2:00 pm: It’s Eating At You — Authors Tell All About Fat Camp and Loving Your Body
The Festival takes place on War Memorial Plaza in downtown Nashville between Charlotte and Union and 6th and 7th Avenues. Author sessions are held in the Legislative Plaza hearing rooms underneath the Plaza and in the Senate and House Chambers of the State Capitol.
*I believe I’m also speaking to 300 female students… I will not drop an F this time ’round.
** These are by no means recent pictures of me (just the only ones on my computer that fit the subject). The photos are from years ago when I was thin… and quite Les Mis.
5 YEARS AGO: Morning Rant, Winners, Surprise
