humor heals: peter boyle moments

In general, I don’t wish anyone pain, but in the specific, I sometimes want to grab Phil’s balls and squeeze until they pop out. Oops, there goes another rubber tree plant.

In general, I think it’s good to air it, say what’s on your mind, but in the specific, I want Phil to just, for the love of God, zip it already.

The other day, my sweet little wish was granted. Phil bit his tongue so hard it actually turned black and blue. What followed can only be described as a "Peter Boyle Moment."

"You see, it’s a good thing, Philip. God was literally telling you to just hold your tongue already. Zip it. Shut it. Enough outta you."

For the rest of the day, he still managed to argue and opine, only as he tried to air his many frustrations with me, I was a convulsive jiggling woman, gasping for air, thrashing about in a laughing fit. "I feel very disrespected," sent me into spasms, set to the tune of Peter Boyle as the monster in Young Frankenstein, singing "Puttin’ on The Ritz."

So thank you God, for giving me a sense of humor to deal with this dear man. And now, a clip:

A YEAR AGO: Gossip in the Grain
2 YEARS AGO: Agents
4 YEARS AGO: Witch Slapped
5 YEARS AGO: Indexed, Let’s Play, Like A Prom Dress, Bluefood



  1. I once saw Peter Boyle at Elaine’s in NYC. I so wanted to go up to him and say “Putting On The Ritz” but reason prevailed.

  2. How did he bite his tongue? Was there gum involved? I once bit my tongue so hard I looked like a female Gene Simmons.

  3. You write what I think but never say. If only my husband learned to bite his tongue at key moments we’d have better sex or more accurately more sex.

  4. I used to have a crush on Gene Wilder. Blazing Saddles Gene not Young Frankenstein Gene.

  5. I have a friend who has a friend who knows Mel Brooks. Let the forwarding begin!

  6. Half the time I love Phil. Half the time I find him mean and overbearing. Amazing I can have such a strong opinion about someone I don’t know.

  7. I have to second Laurie’s comment. God bless blogging! And the internet!

    While I have yet to want to squeeze my husband’s balls, off I have often thought longingly about taking a big heavy shovel to my FIL. Does that count?

  8. This was hysterical…

    Completely off topic – Stephanie, do you wear any Ella Moss? What size tops of hers do you wear? I am about your size on top and was wondering..

  9. I walked in on my ex-husband having sex with his ex-girlfriend that I invited to stay with us while she was visiting. I know, rookie mistake. I was yound and naive. Needless to say there was much fighting, crying, etc. About a year later I was still furious with him and he said to me “What do you want me to do? I know I was wrong, I’ve said I was sorry. What else can I do.” My replay “Cut you fing dck off.” Needless, to say I can relate to the feeling. I didn’t really want him to do that, but in the heat of the moment is seemed like justice.

    1. So at the time you were married and he screwed his ex girlfriend in your home and you caught them.. and you were with him a year later? Ouch. And That is horrible.. .sorry.

      1. Ugh. The day I found my hubby having sex with ANYONE would have been he day I changed the locks and HE moved out.

  10. It’s totally about humor. Especially when you’re ranting at each other and trying to think of a great argument to prove your point…but then you notice a sly smirk on your hubby and you just cackle out loud and realize that you and him both sounded ridiculous.

  11. I know where you are coming from. When every word out of your significant other’s mouth is about one of your shortcomings or to issue an order, silence can be golden.

    1. Hmmm..that would explain a lot. I just cannot relate to this at all–it would never occur to me to want to inflict unimaginable pain on my husband, or anyone. Even the jokes seems flat.

      Though, in some sense, this couple seem made for each other.

  12. Ugh. The day I found my hubby having sex with ANYONE would have been he day I changed the locks and HE moved out.

  13. i know right. Like the whole broody man thing was sexy in high school, but in your 30’s it’s just annoying. So sex with a crabass is not sex it’s like punishment

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