My Facebook Status: Aside from a limited point of view and attitude problem, what should I bring with me from Boca Raton, FL when I visit Austin, TX this week?
I’m heading to Austin, TX on Monday. I’ll put it right out there. I’m homesick for my Texan friends, the queso, and the Neiman Marcus Last Call. And the meat. There’s nothing like Lockhart, TX BBQ. Nothing. Puts the Salt Lick to shame. As for this Last Call business, I’ll put it to you this way. You try shopping for short ribs “plate” flanken during Passover in Boca Raton (or New York), and you’ve got to sell your goods to the butcher (or at least shake ’em). You’ve got to wheel and deal, hand over fist, insert whatever you need to, to get out of that store with raw meat wrapped in white butcher paper. Everyone wants it.
You try to get short ribs cut across the bone in Texas? Have at it, ma’am. No one wants it, knows from it, cares. Have your pick.
Hello Neiman Marcus Last Call in Austin. Nothing has been picked over. There are no scraps. You are left only with prime deals at the best prices. In Boca? You will elbow an old woman in the breast if she stands between you and that one and only pair of Vera Wang Lavender Label flats with the chunky sparkled toe, marked at twice the price you’ll find in Austin. So, yes, I will be defiling the store first thing Tuesday morning. The rest of the week, I will be eating, seeing movies, sitting on my friends’ laps and loving up on every last one of them.
I really didn’t know how much I adored Austin until I moved to Boca. Best comparison I know how to make? You sit at a bar in Austin, at the country club, let’s say, and the women (45+) will adopt you. Seriously, they will. Sit at a bar in Boca, at the country club, let’s say, and the women (32+) will ignore you. Except if you smile first. Then, they won’t know what the fcuk to do. Because who just smiles at a stranger?
Do not misread me. I have made some truly wonderful friends here in South Florida. Very real, funny women, who’ve been welcoming and uncharacteristically warm. But, they are not the norm. I have plenty more to say on the matter, but it’s too much venom to slip into a single blog.
So, I leave you with this. If you were heading to Austin, what would you want to do with your week? Hell, if you were heading anywhere? I’m making (and sharing) my to-do list later. And, no, it’s not lost on me that there’s life outside of Neiman Marcus and country clubs. It’s not a life worth living, but it’s a life.
