performance anxiety

Nothing says relaxing more than the hotel channel. It doesn’t matter which city I’m in, the thing I want to watch most as soon as I flip on the television in my hotel room is the confirmation of sale video. That loop of an information channel showcasing local restaurants and hotel amenities. How my nerves unfold with the musak, as uniformed staffers smile while answering phones. I get a peek at the exciting business center, where the woman behind the counter is overjoyed to offer you paper. Without leaving my room, I’ve already toured the neighborhood districts and restaurants (along with their hearty displays of surf and turf). I’ve weaved through the gift shop, and taken a turn about the conference center. All this, plus beauty shots of all the room service possibilities. Ah, and lest I forget the mandatory shot of a fountain.

Comfort at my fingertips, and yet, all I could do was bite my nails. In less than an hour, I’d be whisked away to give a speech to 300 librarians. I’m sorry to report that the closer I came to blast off, the less prepared I was.I suddenly understood why men could lose their erections.

My sexy date to the event texted that she was on her way to pick me up. NO! You don’t understand, I’m still figuring out what to say! I was writing, then rewriting, deciding that I’d need to write the buzzwords bigger in case I forgot what I was saying. Oh, the nerves. I needed to relax. If only the hotel offered complimentary speeches.



  1. Ah, I love when blogging worlds intersect. For some reason, I thought Heather's friend Stephanie was a librarian, speaking at the librarian convention, and I didn't even bother to check the link. But now this and it suddenly all becomes clear.

    From all accounts you knocked 'em dead, so congrats!

  2. Don't you mean you get "a 'peek' at the exciting business center"? Nice that it calms you. That's the only good those silly infomercials do.

  3. I'm sure you were brilliant – I have no doubt – so congratulations.

    Now – as to the comfort of hotel rooms – I agree wholeheartedly. I love to travel. Even now that it's not easy or glamorous. I LOVE to wake up here, where it's cold, snowy and dreadful (even this morning!) – and fly to a place where flowers are in bloom and the palm trees are swaying.

    Most of all – I love to see the people. Travelling people are fascinating people. Do we all leave our selves at home and wear something different out? I do…

    I leave the mom in me at home, and head out on business trips perfectly coiffed, perfectly dressed, underwear perfectly matching my suit (in case the plane goes down and CSI has to investigate – I want to be the woman who had her shit together). I go to the hotel – I throw open the curtains and windows if I can – and I am still. Until I have to work – but I always feel different – more energized – more 'on display'…I like it.

    I have travelled enough to earn my 'travelling sucks and I hate it' badge – but I fight to hold on to the 'travelling is fascinating, interesting and liberating'.

    All I can say is I could use a palm tree about now!

  4. Ditto on the comment, when blogs intersect. I read on Heather's blog about meeting up with her friend Stephanie and followed her link to you… who I also read. Very Cool! I hope your speech went well. A great place to get over your speaking phobias is joining a Toastmasters club. They aren't stuffy and boring and you do really learn alot.

  5. i love those hotel channels…when i do road trips or travel to new places the first thing i do is listen to the local radio and watch the local news. there's something really foreign and yet familiar about it. i'm sure you did fantastic at the reading, and i hope lucas is ok.

  6. Well from the looks of what This Fish said, your speech was wonderful! Cheers! and I completely agree about the hotel channel, I travel A LOT and flipping on the screen in the first thing I do, second….get a bucket of ice. Just because I can.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.