This past weekend I attended the Sumo world challenge, battle of the giants, at Madison Square Garden brought to us by “Big Boy Productions.”  For once I wasn’t the only one with a ponytail, wedgie, and cellulite in the room.  Admittedly, this time I was one-upped by the boys.  “The Boys” were mostly from Norway, Poland, Georgia, and Russia (or so the announcer said).  It seemed to be more of a WWF show than a traditional Sumo match, rich with tradition, streamers, and rice.

What kind of people attend a Sumo match at The Garden?  Would spectators be Japanese or family members of an Italian nicknamed “tartufo” from Parsipany, NJ?  Mostly, the crowd was what you’d expect to see at a NY Ranger game, without the orange foam fingers and sport jerseys.  Instead, spectators tightened white headbands on and repeated, “Yes Danielson” often.  Karate was the closest they’ve known to Sumo.

The crowd lept to its feet in cheer for the true fatties weighing in at 419 lbs.  Though when up against a wee bit o’ man, the crowd shifted its attention to the underdog, weighing in at 220 lbs.  A deep steady cheer of “Roooo-dy.  Roooo-dy,” passed through the crowd.  The little guy made it to the semi-finals.  But “SU-PER-TITS” made it all the way.  Before his final round, he tucked in his sack and vagina, gave his ass cheeks a slap while lifting a leg, then pushed his opponent out of the circle.


View more of the photos from the night >>