life leaps

Harry wouldn’t take Sally there for this very reason.  It had nothing to do with not wanting to hear, “how come you never take me to the airport anymore?”  He didn’t want to be around the airport at the beginning of a relationship because that’s where the L word happens.  Love Actually.

People realize they’re in love in airports.  Arrivals and departures bring it out in people.  Sometimes you can spot a couple, heavy in an oval embrace, and you’re uncertain if you’re witnessing a joyful reunion or a heartbreaking fracture.  Tears are warm, but they don’t always tell the right story.

Toward the ending of Garden State, just before Largeman gets on the escalator, leaving Sam but not ending their relationship, he says to her "it’s not a period; it’s an ellipse." It seems like a good speech. I nod, my hand on my chin.  Seems logical.  Very chalk and blackboard of him.  He’ll figure his crap out then swing ‘round to include her later.  All very good…

…yeah, right.  There’s a little thing called timing.  Clearly ellipses are dumb because a montage later, there’s the obligatory running through the airport a la Jerry McGuire, when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, and that someone isn’t there with you.  You tear up the mathematical proof, spit on the theorem, and choose messy.  You choose faith.  And, getting to faith takes more than people movers, airport taxiway markers, and handheld solar beacons.

Life happens sometimes, and you deal with it when it comes, not by drawing lines, adding ampersands, or imposing periods.  You have to hold onto it, with both hands, when you have the moment in front of you to actually seize.  “Meant to be” is lazy.  You have to jump in, let go, and hope because life leaps. I hear all the old people tell me so.  "In the blink of an eye."  You have to sieze the opportunity when it’s yours to act on, as if you’re poets, on the desk, at that moment, cheering "O Captain my captain!"  Carpe Diem!  Riding things out, seeing what happens, relying on destiny… it’s the making of crapass movies like Serenditpy not lives.



  1. Interesting movie selection and metaphor. I could help but consider Kevin Smith's speech, alla Ben Afleck as Bartleby, in "Dogma" concerning love and airports.

    "Humanity at it's best. All that tension, all that anger and mistrust, forgotten for one perfect moment when they come off that plane. See those two? The guy doesn't even know that the girl cheated on him while he was away."

    I think part of the fear of leaping may come from the idea expressed in "If Lucy Fell" – if we stay on the movie theme. Good post.

  2. If Lucy Fell, it's because Joe pushed her.

    No… the trick is jumping, hoping the love of your life will catch you if you fall. It's not unlike the "trust fall" I learned in the fourth grade at Project Adventure, where they taught us other team building activities, like trying to get the fat girl over the wall. Sigh. Welcome to my life.

  3. Man, I only wish I could have been as articulate as that final paragraph at the end of a recent relationship. Probably wouldn't have turned it around, but at least I would have felt better. But, alas, as you say, life is sloppy — and it's often sloppier when expressed in the verbal rather than written form.

    Usually I'm a critic here (and probably will be again in the future). But I also give credit where it is due.

  4. I take simultaneous comfort and displeasure in knowing that there is not just one person for each person; for that reason timing can be everything on an individual level, but can you imagine trying ot find the "one" out of billions of people. I am just fine with the current system. You can't change it anyway. I think moving across the country and leaving jobs, etc. to make that "leap" is ill-advised, unless you are ready for any sort of change anyway, and then it's not really much of a "leap," it's just fun. People have often leaped toward me, and sometimes I make a catch, but I'm not leaping. I'm just standing there. It works fine too.

    Stephaine – are you contemplating some "leap"? If so, what and with whom?

  5. Yes time goes by very quickly. I don't necessarily agree that you should jump head first in. Sometimes it works and sometimes it just leads us slowly towards a disasterous ending. Really, all we need to be is open. Open to the opportunity, open to our surroundings, and open to whatever may come across our path. You just never know who that "one" may be. You don't know when we will meet that "one." However, I agree that when you do…you must sieze the day or moment. Your time is soon…didn't Abdul say that when he read your palm?

  6. That is the interesting thing about Stephanie's blog … a lot of people's blogs actually. When I read them I feel like I both know the person and at the same time really don't know the person. It's such a small window. Even though Stephanie opens it wider by offering more interesting factoids about herself than many, I often feel it's still a fairly clody reflection of her life. Fun though.

  7. One man's leap is another man's slow hike. Doesn't make one more romantic or lasting or real than the other. The goods have got to be there. At the other end of the hike or the leap.

    I've met people who read infatuation as love and other people who read endurance as love, but neither is really love by itself. Love's something else, not mutually exclusive of endurance or infatuation.

    The fact is, you simply don't know if it's real when you make the leap or start up the hill.

  8. Last Tuesday I had to see my boyfriend off, he was going home to Scotland. He says the "L" word is like crying, men don't do it!
    We had a huge crying scene, well I was crying, at 5:45am in the airport, as he was leaving, he said the words "I LOVE YOU" made me cry even more! So it is TRUE!

  9. Mike,
    I agree. I think if it is part of your values system to commit in certain ways (whether that is marriage of something else), and you've decided it's real, then you are cheating yourself and maybe even sabotaging yourself if you withold.

    Like the way I've moved around so much in my life that I have trouble hanging pictures or decorating at all. I want a home someday, but I am never going to have a home if I don't make one where I am.

    If a place is good enough for me to live in every day, then it better damn well be good enough to make into a place of joy and rest and communion and nourishment.

    If it's not good enough to be a home, the simple fact is that I shouldn't be living there.

  10. Dealmaker– I'm not contemplating a leap, I'm busy making them on a regular basis. We're talking pole vaults.

    Vulnerable makes me short of breath because running on faith takes bigass strides for me. Thank goodness I've got my running shoes all double-knotted. Okay, I take the whole analogy back. I despise running.

  11. Go for it! I was friends with several pole vaulters in school – It's a tough sport, so good luck.

  12. Ahh Departure…very underrated Journey album, not as good as Evoloution or Escape, but way better than Raised on Radio. Or was it Frontiers? Shit I can never remember…

  13. Yes you don't always have to throw caution to the wind and go head long into any relationship. But I think folks are a bit too guarded, for whatever reason. We have to sack up and be honest with each other, in real time. I think what Stephanie is trying to say is that you don't have jump into anything, but the core attitude you take about being with someone should be fundamentally the same on day 1 and day 100. That sooner, rather than later, you have to make a commitment to yourself that you'll approach a relationship seriously, as in you seriously giver your respect and attention. If you do that, I think it's easier to take the ups and downs. Roll with the changes, if you will.

    There, I've managed to work Journey and REO Speedwagon into seprate comments. I'm just stupid enough to be dangerous.

  14. But…the turnstile only lets you go one way.

    (I realize this is vague and only means something to me, but it had to be said)

  15. I think the line was "not a period, but an ellipsis (…). And I think the ellipsis connoted a lack of finality.

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