size matters


I start with Regis & Smelly every morning.  I follow the duo up with a dose of Ellen.  I literally dance with her every morning for one minute, sometimes 1:04.  But now I’m on vay-k, so I’ve been sleeping half past Ellen.  I made up for it while at Ivy’s for lunch. I was afraid they wouldn’t let me into the restaurant with my big fat ass…essory.  My D100.  I don’t care what you’ve heard.  It does too matter, and I’ve been feelin’ it.  I’ve been discriminated against for the size of my Nikon.  You’ve got enormous breasts and enormous celebrities, Beverly Hills engagement rings the size of walnuts, and then you have me with my enormous mouth and camera body.  "Sorry.  You can’t come in with that." 
"But I see other people inside with cameras."  This is my idea of pleading, on my toes peering inside looking at what everyone else has.
"Yeah, those are little cameras.  Yours is big."
"Yes, I know it’s big, but this is my vacation, and I’m staying at this hotel.  You’re telling me I can’t take pictures of my own friends at the pool?"  Yes, that’s exactly what he was telling me, and later, all of my friends, as each of us tried to sneak the mass that is my camera into Sky Bar.  Pregnant women’s bellies really don’t look like that under shirts, and no handbag is ever big enough to house my digital camera.  I was screwed, and worse than that, around here, I’m the enemy.  Apparently, I now need to invest in a camera the size of a stick of gum.  It’s the one time I’ll say it: smaller is better.

View more of the L.A. photos (you’ll need to scroll to see the new ones) >>



  1. next time bring in one of those Edison Kinetograph cameras and tell the feckin' bouncers to piss off.

    gad, now i remember why i hate LA so much.

  2. Try walking in with two Nikon D2Hs, wait and see the looks you'll get with that duo on your shoulders. Welcome to my world. : )

    Might I suggest the Digital Elph line that Canon makes for all your fun adventures. About the size of a credit card and it takes beautiful pictures.

  3. That's LA!!… it or LEAVE IT!!
    That's why I LEFT!!….Havenhurst Ave off Sunset…..the bloom was off the rose!!
    Too many years of insecure puffed up (lterally) women, arrogant "industry" folk who HATED us who came from NYC to work there….
    Me a makeup artist!!…Whew what an education I got in 7 years.
    Left with one siutcase & no REAL friends to speak of.
    Welcome home finally…back to the EAST Coast…to thee most REAL people….

  4. Steph,
    I was going through the same thing, well not the Ellen and Regis thing as I am more of a Katie and Matt Today show type of gal.

    I just bought a Kodak 6490. It has a 10X Digital Zoom. I have been playing with it all weekend. If your interested I can email you some of the photos I have taken so you can see the quality.

  5. I have a massive old camera that I rarely take anywhere for the simple fact that it's too heavy.

    I also need to invest in a smaller and more lightweight (and digital) camera.

  6. I highly suggest the Casio Exilm. Fits in a Coach Wristlet perfectly and despite a grainy (I have a 3.2 mega pix, there may be a 4.0 or 5.0+ one out now) zoom has been snuck into many a game, show, event, party etc with me. Non camera afcianados can not believe it takes such good shots.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.