why do you drink alcohol?


Last night at Dolce, I ordered the fish special, Sole Milanese over heirloom tomatoes with basil.  The check arrives.  It was $44.  I repeated this fact at least 44 times throughout the rest of the evening.  Forget my two dollars… I want my forty four dollars!  Dear lord.   

After dinner the girls and I went back to Jeffrey’s apartment for champagne by the on demand fireplace and talked about drugs. (I ended up leaving his apartment with a book titled, Cocaine: an unauthorized biography by Dominic Streatfeild.)  "Why do you drink alcohol?  What do you get out of it?"  It seems like a simple enough question.  Some of my friends, when inebriated, become more aggressive, leaving their ladylike upbringings on the plush sofas with their velvet blazers.  The shot might sting but it drowns out her father’s voice, the one telling her a man wants a woman who will laugh at his jokes, who never swears, and who’s a lady on the street but a freak in the bed.  Okay, maybe that’s the radio.  Others become childlike, leaving their worries about work and insecurities about what others think on the bar stool while she catwalks on the bar, giggling, followed by twirls.  I do neither of these things.

I drink because I like the taste of wine, for starters, but obviously, I also drink sometimes to help me relax.  In social settings, I do it because I am guarded.  In fearing rejection and despising disappointment, I short things.  I become anything but an optimist, so the only one who can really disappoint me is me.  I have to stop doing this, be more confident, and begin to trust again.  I feel it most when I drink.  When alcohol enters the mix, I become more okay with showing my emotions and vulnerabilities.  For the most part, I see being emotional as being weak.  I act like I don’t care, "what you want won’t have any effect on me," but of course I do care.  If I revealed myself, you’d know I’m a little puppy inside, all pink underside.   We’re afraid of revealing who we really are to those we care about because we’re all a little afraid of rejection.  It’s why beginning off as friends first can be such a blessing.  Especially friends who get drunk together.  But really, I don’t believe in friends with benefits anymore… I see it as a waste of time.  Be alone; it builds character.  You don’t want to be on the wrong bus when the right one pulls up.




  1. One, because I always gotta have something to hold (or else I fidget and peel at my nail polish) and two, because I'm orally fixated. Eating, drinking, gum. Kissing. You know.

  2. Oh those pics in LA they sure make me think of Nick Gilder's classic number one smash hit "Hot Child in the City"!

  3. Is that OPI "My Villa or Yours" – because that color is so hot right now.

  4. Can't wait to read the rest.

    But here are the top five reasons (take it all in good fun):

    5. Because I just love the hangover the next morning.

    4. I am a better singer, dancer, etc.

    3. It makes some people look better.

    2. Because I really enjoy drunk dialing, e-mailing, and drunk posting.

    And the #1 reason….It makes me feel frisky.

  5. Another song that comes to mind…

    They made up their minds
    And they started packing
    They left before the sun came up that day
    An exit to eternal summer slacking
    But where were they going without ever
    Knowing the way?

    They drank up the wine
    And they got to talking
    They now had more important things to say
    And when the car broke down they started walking
    Where were they going without ever
    Knowing the way?

    Live vicariously for us!

  6. Ah, L.A. Sometimes I miss it, sometimes I hate it with a passion. I do know I will never live there again.

    Yes, I agree that we are afraid of revealing who we really are to those we care about, but when it's someone who cares about you in return, it's okay. There won't be any rejections. Also when you have finally reached the point in your life when you are comfortable with who yourself, it doesn't matter who you reveal yourself to, because you won't care what other may think or say. You know you rock!

  7. Excellent. I take it the fortune is from Chin-Chin at Sunset Plaza… home of Eurotrash galore! The restaurant behind you in that photo, Clafoutis, has divine napoleans.

    Be careful walking near Sunset Plaza after dark – my old boss drives about 90 mph around there. I know this from riding shotgun.

    It's like walking down memory lane… the Mondrain, S. Plaza, etc… except I don't have to suck the exhaust anymore.

    Okay, I'm jealous. A little.

  8. I'm in LA studying for finals (gotta love grad school!), you're in LA having lots of fun. I am very jealous.

  9. I always feel like emotions make you weak as well…

    And I'm with Tom, the #1 reason I drink is because I am even more fabulous in bed.

  10. I am not afraid to show who I am anymore. It's not that I am comfortable with rejection; it's more I have a self inside now. So, being comfortable with myself and in my skin, I will reveal myself more easily, knowing that I alone own myself. An unkind word or a disinterested person may not please me but it doesn't shake me anymore. My world doesn't reverberate because of how others respond to me as long as I am true to myself.

  11. I am wholeheartedly agreeing with ~jess~ & Tom and their reason #1. Which may also essplain some precarious situations of late…oh well!

    And on a bummer note…this blog's officially become NSFW at my place of employment:(

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