I’m actively looking.  There.  Big shock.  I need to meet a man.

… who works in real estate who won’t charge me a broker fee.  Come on, someone who reads this has to know one.  Don’t tell me to go on craigslist or buy a no-fee apartment book.  Don’t tell me to call management companies and start asking.  I want names.  Give me the name of a broker who won’t charge me a broker fee, and I’ll date him if he finds me an apartment.  Shit, I’ll even pay for dinner.

I’m looking for a 1 bedroom apartment (no, I said 1 bedroom, not alcove studio) in the West Village or Union Square area only.  No, I won’t live in the Financial District or Chelsea.  They must take dogs (Linus is 16 lbs.).  The apartment must have a dishwasher, laundry in the building, and have a living room big enough to accommodate both a living room set up and a dining room table.  I love to cook and need space to entertain.  The bedroom must accommodate a queen sized bed and an office area.   I will not spend more than $2600 per month. 

Like a whore, I’m one owner away from the streets.  Whatevs.