I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes. At my isolated desk all day wearing headphones like a headband, I don’t hear the gossip. I listen to Pedro The Lion (you should all download the free MP3 off the site… so damn good), and I wait for our Thursday nights out to get clued in. Welcome to the corner of Gossip and Yenta. Everyone is soused to the gills, and the stories spill over in slurs. Over his Jameson and my Jack Daniels, Chris taught me something interesting.

A Cleveland Steamer: when someone takes a dump on your chest.

A Dirty Sanchez: when an index finger is swiped along or inserted in the ass, then wiped across your partner’s top lip for a lovely whiff… leaving a Mexican moustache… or a “Dirty Sanchez.”

A Jersey Turnpike: a finger up the ass, then inserted in your partner’s mouth. (If you accidentally pick your nose at some point with the abusive finger, it’s called, “Getting off at Newark.”)

A Felcher or Felching: when cum is slurped from an asshole post anal seex (sometimes with a straw).

As slow on the uptake as I am, I’m not polluting my blog with trash talk without an end in sight. Enter Reebok. During the Super Bowl, Reebok aired a commercial featuring Terry Tate, the Office Linebacker, titled “Sensitivity Training.” The commercial includes subtle references to everything foul listed above. Okay, not the Jersey Turnpike. I threw that in for good measure. It’s hysterical of the art directors to call the guy Felcher. The seexy woman headed up the Cleveland Steamer Corporation. They have that dude with the Mustache named Sanchez. They subtly worked in all these dirty references into a commercial aired on NATIONAL TV.. and the CEOs weren’t clever enough to pick up on it. Or were they??? What’s that? Any publicity is good publicity… The commercial isn’t gross; it’s funny in a fart-joke kind of way. You must go watch it.