Featured above, the Elephant Who Forgot To Spit, or The House of Cock And Balls, or The Uncircumcised House of Pain. A night’s sleep in there is like napping inside a scrotum.

In search of ugly houses, I don’t know that you can beat this brand of hideous. Built in 1976 by architect William Nicholson, the “Flintstones House” of Hillsborough, California is the type of ugly house that demands a reaction. The most timid pipsqueak of a mole will find himself “OMFG”ing aloud. Touring the photos, it’s as if you’re winding your way through the small intestine. As a result, this is one of those rare moments in a writer’s life when words fail gloriously.

Here’s a real positive, though. This eyesore challenges your brain to imagine, imagine better. Raise the bar. Because I certainly never could’ve dreamed this up. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen, except maybe once on Fraggle Rock beside the all-knowing Trash Heap.

The Ugliest House In America

Stage This Ugly House: Blowup Doll Edition (How has this design tip escaped HGTV?)

You say Jacuzzi, I say Jurassic

“Global” Cooking – Yabba Dabba Don’t

Don’t Forget To Wipe Your—Never mind (See fur towel)

Flintstones House Kitchen

Rock Garden Friends: Bocce balls, Dino Eggs, and Polished Turds

Side note: People with rock gardens only need that one descriptor, and in an instant, we get it.

45 Berryessa Way, Hillsborough, CA
For the bargain list price of $3,780,000.
MLS# ML81513899