florida fashion hell(p)

No makeup, dog crate in the background, this isn’t exactly staged for video. But I could use some fashion sense. Because we all know how this goes:

We ransack our closets for “cruise” apparel, replicating celebrity looks or runway runaways, composing outfits days in advance of our trips, then pack away the life we want. When we vacation, we dress “as if.” We try to live the breezy casual, island style; it says so, right there in our layered gossamer silhouettes.

4 up on 2011 04 01 at 17 57
Too early for white pants (especially those!). Let the fashion advice begin.

Then we arrive at our destination and live in the same pair of shorts, day in and out, with a bathing suit a towel, and a hair clip. We read and read, then walk into town, where we insist we need to go shopping. Irony is delicious.

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COMMENTS:

  1. Definitely not higher on the first one…looks odd. I think. Looks better the first way.

    The white pants are fucking awesome. You look amazing.

  2. You look good! What size are you now? I like the no-makeup/fresh face look on you, and I like your hair natural like that.

    Okay, clothes:

    Yes on blazer — cute, cute, cute! But. . .I don’t like it with those shorts and espadrilles.

    No on the other two outfits.

    You have great, long, thin legs. I say skip the shorts and just wear skirts. Really, shorts are not flattering on most people (including me). I say dresses and skirts.

    I love your fashion posts — the ones where you model clothes and ask for opinions.

  3. Bearing in mind that I’m a man and fashion sense around me is usually in terms of whether or not my clothes are clean or dirty…

    I thought the grey outfit was a little too “cutesy”, and the grey blouse, white slacks and black belt looked great. Screw “too early for white pants”. Set the fashion trend yourself.

  4. I’m not feeling the gray dress at all, but I think the white pant outfit is very flattering on you.

  5. You look so svelte and so stylish in the white pants ensemble. I don’t think they are too tight, they are tailored. The belt defines your waist. The necklace adds interest and brings color up near your face. You could also wear the blazer over it all. Additionally, you could swap the necklace for the scarf. Or, you could use the scarf to tie back your hair. Please don’t wear the blue dress. It adds bulk where there isn’t any (especially when it is pulled up high…play back your video). You’ve worked much too hard for that. Why not enjoy the fruits of your labor and strut around in your “tight” white pants like you are Blanche’s lovely long lost great-granddaughter? And don’t forget your best accessory…a smile. Safe travels, Stephanie!

  6. Hi, thanks for asking for advice. This is the first time I think I’ve commented, but I have been reading along for years. And I am very happy to offer my thoughts. I hope it helps.

    Firstly, you’re have lovely hips. You shouldn’t pinch them as if to suggest they’re bad, they’re beautiful and a lovely shape. And your tummy and overall figure is gorgeous.

    On to the first outfit, the blue-jewelled-criss/cross-backed dress – the top half is attractive, however as a whole the dress is too unstructured to be really flattering. It does look better pulled down, but I would suggest trying it with the dark blue belt from the “Golden Girls” out fit, to give the dress more definition.

    I’d also try that blue dress with capri pants on, or those excellent long white pants, with the belt, and while scrunching up the blue dress to make it look like a long-ish shirt. I’d try this outfit (blue dress, long white pants, blue belt) with the dark blue blazer too, for an elegant evening look.

    The “Golden Girls” outfit is great. The long white pants are excellent, they’re your best piece in this wardrobe, and I would wear them all the time. If I had your lovely colouring I would also team the long white pants with stronger fawny/rusty colours, as ‘bold’ colour statements suit you.

    Speaking of your pants, I think you could also wear the blue-and-white t-shirt from the denim shorts outfit, with your long white pants, and add the orange necklace to it, to give the outfit a twist, and a little lift. :)

    The dark blue blazer with the salmon “swampy bum” shorts, is too dark and heavy for those shorts. I’d like to see you in a top/blazer in an all white (white on white type of thing), or a blazer in a salmon shade darker than the shorts.

    Those “swampy shorts do look very nice with your espadrilles, but bum area is a little bit loose. I think that could be easily fixed though, by wearing the dark blue belt over the white man’s shirt, over the salmon “swampy shorts. By doing this, the shirt will gather nicely over your bum, and balance any extra bagginess in the shorts.

    The denim shorts look better when you roll them up. And your legs don’t look like a bum when you sit down. However, if you’re worried you could wear a really extra-floatly top over the denim shorts; a top which will drape over your crotch when you’re seated.

    I think a darker denim short would be more adaptable. However, also consider this option – the denim shorts with the espadrilles, the man’s white shirt from the “swampy bum” outfit, and the orange necklace (dark blue blazer would work here too).

    But, if I were your best friend, I’d say to scrap the denim shorts all together, because they’re not good enough for you. I’d want you to return them and buy something else. Especially because the salmon shorts make your legs look lovely and long and slim, and the long white pants make you look drop dead gorgeous.

    So, in closing, I hope this helps, and it was so much fun to have look and think about your attire. I hope you have a wonderful trip away, and remember you look gorgeous, and structured, block/bold colours highlight your enviable figure.

  7. I like it the “pulled down” way, but I think it shouldn’t be pulled down as far as it goes, it should be a little “loose” in the top half if you know what I mean.

  8. the first outfit definitely looks better with the waist pulled down. I love the second look with the white pants!

  9. I’m not much of a fashion critic, so I’ll leave the floor open to people who are better at this kind of thing. But my 2 cents is that you’re shameless and that makes you just hilarious! I enjoyed your narrations more than anything else.

  10. blazer and white shirt w white pants.
    no on the orange necklace!
    are capri’s in at all any more? like them better than shorts
    i am hopelessly out of date, so don’t listen to me.
    blue shorts too short.
    how do you have such a flat stomach? jealous!!
    you look fab wout makeup!!!!
    you are amusing to watch, though a tiny bit cringe-worthy!
    wish you were my friend!
    beth grd

  11. I love the white pants and think they’re very flattering. The blue outfit-not so much. It’s blousey and adds bulk especially when you pull it up. You need to emphasize your small waist and wear clothes that are more form fitting. You look great!

  12. White pants outfit is awesome — you look great! Grey dress — return it. Too short and too young, sorry.

  13. Love the white pants outfit! A heel would help pants have a good line. Grey dress only if pulled down, pushed up makes it too hip-y. Not feeling the blazer look (except the espadrilles) but I love your natural look. Beautiful!

  14. With the amount of fidgeting you had going with the J.Crew shorts NO, return, reject.

    The white pants outfit I approve, sans the flipflop, unless you get a snazzier ff. Maybe the gold pair that you were wearing with the grey dress.

    The grey dress. No. Again, you seemed uncomfortable and unconfident in it. You need a bit more structure as a buxom lady. I know there is a better way to pull off this look.

    If I were there I would shop you silly, and have you looking confident and de-lush-ious.

  15. I agree on the white pants outfit. It is great. I love the dress and I love it pulled down. It is perfect for vacation. Stay away from the scruched up look. Love the idea of the Jcrew outfit, but I agree with the aussie above that if you put the white shirt and the necklace with espadrilles and some denim shorts (if you can get a pair of darker and bit longer OR how about a denim skirt???).

    Also, you look great! I guess WW is paying off! Hell yes to you. I am struggling to continue writing down and tracking points! Ugh!

  16. The grey dress does nothing for you & you don’t look comfortable in it. The white pants, grey top, & dark belt, otoh, is a winner & looks terrific on you. Did I miss something? Where are the shorts, blazer & espadrilles?

  17. The white pants / Golden Girls outfit is a total winner! Total. Winner. Love the necklace.

    The first dress is vacation worthy for sure, with the gold flats. The neckline screams Stephanie Klein to me. I like it pulled down and think the look would be complete with your hair down and wild.

    I also like the stripey t-shirt – would look nice with the white pants or a pair of dark jeans with a cut like the white pants. It’s very nautical and reminds me of Kris Jenner, who I think is a very stylish woman.

    I’ve been poking around the Old Navy site looking for vacation wear for a trip to NOLA this month myself and I think you would rock something like this comfy halter dress: http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=46470&vid=1&pid=839448&scid=839448002

    Have fun on your trip!

  18. I’m not liking the dress in the first video. It’s way too big on you. You have a nice body, so why hide it in something that is too big.

    I love the white pants outfit.

    The shorts fit nicely.

    So what did you end up wearing on your trip?

  19. Hi Stephanie!
    You have a gorgeous figure, and I’m sure you’ve made decisions on everything but I thought I’d throw in my two cents for future reference.
    First I must say you have such a gorgeous figure! I’ve read your posts Weight Watchers, losing weight, etc. and you are looking so lovely! I def need to get on the ball and start my own shedding so I can feel better this summer.
    Anyway, here are my thoughts-
    That Old Navy dress, while a lovely color is just such an odd shape. When untucked the banded part sits way too low on your torso and makes your legs looks short. This might be remedied if the straps were altered slightly shorter so the band hits your actual waist as it would help the overall shape appear less sloppy and make your legs look longer and your waist smaller. When it was tucked it was much too short so I wouldn’t do that. Your best best is seriously to get the straps shortened so that everything hits you where it should. The girls would look more lifted as well. I would also wear the espadrilles with that to lengthen your legs even more and help the dress look more tailored since there is essentially no structure to it.
    The outfit with the blazer- I think it’s time to retire those shorts. They look like a diaper. You can totally pull off shorts, just not those shorts. Have you tried on a walking short? I think they would look so chic with the blazer and espadrilles. I do not love the collared shirt with everything, it looks a little costumey like you’re a preppy extra from an 80’s movie. I think the chicest combo would be the blazer with a fitted black tee, the scarf around the neck, a walking/bermuda short, and the espadrilles. So fab, so classic, so easy, and effortless. If you aren’t into the longer short what about a basic twill short? I see J Crew has plenty in a variety of colors and a white short with the dark on top would be divine. The button down would work with a basic short, minus the scarf and the side ponytail. It’s definitely either the button down open at the collar OR a black tee with the scarf, but not the button down AND the scarf. That’s what is making it look costumey.
    The white pants are INSANE on you. I’ve been dying for a pair in that silhouette as J Crew has a gorgeous khaki moto jacket right now that is just screaming for a tee and white pants. Anyway, again with this outfit the belt AND the necklace are too much. The necklace is beautiful and I would love the outfit if it consisted of just the tee, the pants and the necklace. The belt is too much of a fussy look and the chunky necklace is counterbalancing your intention of the belt. I would have loved to see the way the tee falls without the belt because your legs looks so long and lovely the drapiness of the tee might not be a bad thing.
    Finally, the denim short. They look an inch too short to me although I might have felt differently had your top been more tailored. I do not love the top with the shorts as it was just too sloppy. That striped top would look beyond with your white pants though, I think you should definitely try that combo out. I don’t think the shorts look bad and you were brave to sit in them and ultimately it comes down to whether or not you’re comfortable. Also you need to be super aware of what you’re pairing the shorts with as denim shorts can come off sloppy sometimes if paired with the wrong thing. Again a plain black tee would be great here with your “Golden Girls” necklace and those espadrilles.
    I hope what I’ve said makes sense to you. If anyone one tip works for you that’s enough for me! Good luck!

  20. I love the white pants look — I do not care for the grey dress though.

    I lived in Florida my entire life before moving to Moscow, Russia 6 months ago, though and let me tell you it is too hot to for pants. Opening your car door is like opening hell’s oven.

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