QUESTION FROM A GREEK TRAGEDY READER: I am an absolute mess in the intimacy and confidence departments. I am now a 27-year-old virgin who has never been on a real date. I don’t have any major weight, looks or body odor problems – it’s all in my head, of course. I grew up with a very meek and gentle mother and brother and a very frightening, powerful and often absentee father. I yearned for his affection and praise but never got it, which led to psychiatric problems of anxiety and depression at about the age of 15, a few years after my parents divorced. I had one overdose in college on my meds but am now doing better with the anxiety. But I still have absolutely no idea how normal females interact with men their own age. Not surprisingly, the only males I can feel comfortable around are either gay or at least 30 years older than me. I finally got so sick of my dad screaming at me for the tiniest little infractions and playing second fiddle to his second wife that I cut him off over a year ago. I thought that would really help me, but it hasn’t. I’m still terrified of men and have no idea how to date or flirt. I don’t want to be a virgin forever, but at this point, I think I might be. I had about 10 years of psychiatric help, but honestly, I just don’t think it can help me. I just sit in the chair and cry, session after session, about how much my dad hurt me and how scared I am of everything, but mostly trust and intimacy. Do you see any way I could ever get over my daddy issues? I hate that he emotionally controls me in this way! I yearned for a caring father figure my whole life, not one who would berate and criticize me, and so I’m afraid that I will just go for a father figure one day and have no hope of being with my equal in a guy. What did I do to deserve this? Why do I torture myself this way???
As always, the floor is yours until I take. Please try to offer anything that might help out our 28-year-old virgin. Yes, 28. Because it might have taken me a year to respond to this. Sorry about that.
GOT QUESTIONS? NEED ADVICE?
If you have questions or need advice on anything from where to eat to how to get over the bastard, just email your question to my advice email address.
