Ball, happy 30th Birthday. I wish I were with you and the Lineman. I wish you a lifetime of no lipstick on your teeth, of chubb rub free days and nights, of being easily sated, and of stickers upon stickers and dreams come true. Of not having to endure any baby talk from annoying people, no inconsiderate drivers or slow people. I wish you safety and risks that are worth it. I hope you move closer, that we get to spend our lives growing old together. That we get to watch Fraggle Rock with Lucas and Abigail and hear them request more "Boober." May you have a lifetime of spoonfuls of sugar, "that make the medicine go down, the medicine go down, in the most delightful way (booby, booby.)" I wish you a lifetime of wooden spoons, strong coffee, and homemade rice pudding. Evenings where we tell stories that make poppa’s whole head turn red, and days where we make mom say, "Oh, come on!" I wish, more than anything, that we lived closer and got to spend our nights porch drunk together, quoting Papoo, with you making fun of what a sad, sad dancer I am. I love that there’s only one you, and I love that you’re my sister.

5 YEARS AGO: Private Parts, Your Theme Song