your theme song

You’ve seen High Fidelity by now; I’m sure of it.  Okay, fine, you read it.  Certain songs smell like your past, they evoke memories just as strong as the scent of your grandmother’s perfume.  You know you were in a convertible falling in love last time you heard that one.  You were with your friends at the beach designing drinks with left over mixers, and the song might not have been playing, somehow when you hear the song now, you remember that day.  Or you got creative with that last song and changed all the lyrics for the tune for a camp cheer.  If your life had an inner soundtrack that covered you, as best as anyone can be summed up, what would be your playlist?  What do you sound like?  You are, after all, what you listen to.
I’m compiling my list, but I’ll drip feed them to you addicts…

The Eels "Packing Blankets"
Put out that smoke and breath some air, Get a new name and cut your hair, Packing blankets and dirty sheets, A roomful of dust and a broom to sweep up, All the troubles you and i have seen.

The Postal Service "Such Great Heights"
I am thinking it’s a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they’re perfectly aligned. And I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay.  True, it may seem like a stretch, but its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
head when you’re away when I am missing you to death.

AC/DC "You Shook Me All Night Long" AKA "Steph’s Pole Dancing Song"
She had the sightless eyes, telling me no lies, knockin’ me out with those American thights, taking more than her share, had me fighting for air, she told me to come but I was already there

The Shins "New Slang"
new slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries. hope it’s right when you die, old and bony. Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall, never should have called but my head’s to the wall and i’m lonely.

Colin Hay "I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You"
I think the title says it all…  I drink good coffee every morning, It comes from a place thats far away, And when I’m done I feel like talking, Without you here there is less to say

Amanda Kravat "You Didn’t Kiss Me"
I know it’s late, you’re probably out, that’s what you wanted anyway, I know how you hate it when I get too loud, but john you know I’m crazy, I’m wrapped around your favorite overcoat.  Don’t think i can return it…hate your laugh, hate your lies, hate the chance I took on you, hate the past in your eyes, hate the war you put me though. Hate myself for believing this could come to anything at all.

John Mayer "Comfortable”
She thinks I can’t see the smile that she’s fakin’, Poses for pictures that aren’t bein’ taken.  I loved you, gray sweatpants, no makeup, so perfect.  Our love was comfortable and so broken in.  She’s perfect, so flawless.  I’m not impressed. I want you back.

The Samples "Little Silver Ring”
Growing old, watching silver turn to gold, snowing cold, why aren’t you here for me to hold? Didn’t make much sense, but we loved to do our thing…

Crash Test Dummies "I think I’ll Disappear Now"
Running into you like this without warning, Is like catching a sniff of tequila in the morning, But I’ll try, I’ll try to keep my food down.  That’s quite an after-taste that you’ve left now that you’re not around. You can just pretend we’re not in the same room. Well, alright, I’ll just mosey to the bathroom. You flew by like a summer vacation. And you left me with TV-movies and a messy kitchen.

Coldplay "The Scientist"
Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry, You don’t know how lovely you are, Tell you I set you apart, Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions, Oh lets go back to the start. Running in circles, coming up tails, Heads on a silence apart.

R.E.M. "At My Most Beautiful"
I read bad poetry, Into your machine.  I save your messages, Just to hear your voice.  You always listen carefully, To awkward rhymes, You always say your name, Like I wouldn’t know it’s you, At your most beautiful

Barenaked Ladies "Call & Answer"
You think I only think about you, when we’re both in the same room. You think I’m only here to witness, the remains of love exhumed. You think we’re here to play, a game of who love more than whom. And if you call, I will answer, and if you fall, I’ll pick you up, and if you court this disaster, I’ll point you home.
"Life, In a Nutshell"
When she was three, Her barbies always did it on the first date. Now she’s with me, There’s never any need for them to demonstrate. She’s like a baby, I’m like a cat; When we are happy, we both get fat and still
It’s never enough.

Jeez, see a theme?  I’m still not done…



  1. Jane's Addiction – 3 Days. Takes me back to my high school days driving around my home-town in my mom's giant blue Crown Vic with 3 of best friends, Greg, Greg, and Dan.

    Sublime – Scarlet Begonias, and Badfish. Sophomore year in college. Smoking pot with the kids down the hall from me, Todd and Kevin. We'd sit in their tie-dye tapestried room listening to 40 oz. to Freedom, taking bong hits and playing games on their old mac.

    Cibo Matto – Stereo Type A, the whole album. I would walk to the train, 10 minutes away, while it was raining, and listening to this album on my old "new" mp3 player – none of this fancy shmancy iPod stuff, gimme the Rio 500. Those days I would think about the girl I worked with that I fell head over heels for as I walked to that red line t stop.

    those three stand out very vividly. I won't mention the song I lost my virginity to – that's a whole different story.

  2. Here are some other songs which I think describe the way you are feeling and what you are looking for. At least it is some of my interpretions of what you have been writing. They are in no particular order, but here goes:

    Tim McGraw – My Best Friend
    Tim McGraw – She's My Kind of Rain
    Luther Vandross – Buy Me a Rose
    Snoop Dogg / Pharrell – Beautiful
    Barry White – Can't Get Enough of Your Love
    Frank Sinatra – The Way You Look Tonight
    Frank Sinatra – The Best is Yet to Come
    John Mayer – Your Body is a Wonderland
    Blink-182 – First Date
    The Cars – Just What I Needed
    The Corrs – Breathless
    Eurthymics – Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)
    Fabolous – Into You
    Jessica Simpson – With You
    Smash Mouth – I’m a Believer
    Liz Phair – Why Can’t I?
    Lonestar – Amazed
    Queen – Another Bites the Dust
    Seal – Love’s Divine
    Uncle Kracker – In a Little While

    And if you haven't listened to these ever or listened to them in awhile, go ahead and listen to them. I promise you will smile and if it doesn’t then I am completely misinterpreting you.

  3. If your life had an inner soundtrack that covered you, as best as anyone can be summed up, what would be your playlist? What do you sound like?

    Well Stephanie, I always say be careful what you wish for so, sorry to clog your blog. The following literally IS my soundtrack. The songs are taken from my book-in-progress. Like you said, "Jeez, see a theme?"

    Chasing the American Dream (my book/my life) soundtrack:

    Staind "How About You"
    …Everyone plays the hand their dealt, and learns to walk through life themselves. Not everything in life is handed on a plate…

    Emerson, Lake, & Palmer "From the Beginning"
    … and it was all clear. You were meant to be here, from the beginning…

    Guns N Roses "Welcome to the Jungle"
    Welcome to the jungle. It gets worse here everyday. Ya learn ta live like an animal. In the jungle where we play…

    The Who "Won't Get Fooled Again"
    Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. We don’t get fooled again Won’t get fooled again

    David Bowie "Changes"
    Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stranger)
    Ch-ch-Changes. Don't want to be a richer man.
    Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stranger)
    Ch-ch-Changes. Just gonna have to be a different man. Time may change me, But I can't trace time.

    Bobby Fuller 4 "I Fought the Law"
    Breakin’ rocks in the hot sun, I fought the law and the law won.

    Glenn Campbell "By the Time I Get to Phoenix"
    By the time I get to phoenix, she’ll be sleeping…

    Billy Joel "Movin out (Anthony's Song)"
    And it seems such a waste of time. If that's what it's all about. Momma, if that's movin' up, then I'm movin' out. I'm movin' out.

    Beatles "Long & Winding Road"
    The long and winding road that leads to your door will never disappear. I’ve seen that road before. It always leads me here. Lead me to your door…

    James Taylor "Carolina In My Mind"
    … A silver tear appearing now I’m cryin’, ain’t I goin’ to Carolina in my mind? In my mind I’m goin’ to Carolina. Can’t you see the sunshine, can’t you just feel the moonshine. Maybe just like a friend of mine, it hit me from behind. Yes, I’m goin’ to Carolina in my mind…

    Evanescence "Bring Me To Life"
    Wake me up inside. Wake me up inside. Call my name and save me from the dark. Bid my blood to run, before I come undone. Save me from the nothing I’ve become, Bring me to life. Bring me to life…

    Beatles "Yesterday"
    Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they’re here to say. Oh I believe in Yesterday…

    3 Doors Down "Here Without You"
    A hundred days have made me older, since the last time that I saw your pretty face. A thousand lies have made me colder, and I don't think I can look at this the same. And all the miles that separate, disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face. I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time.
    I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight girl, it's only you and me…

    Lifehouse "Hanging By a Moment"
    I’m desperate for changing, starving for truth.
    I'm closer to where I started, chasing after you.
    I'm falling even more in love with you. Letting go of all I've held onto.
    I'm standing here until you make me move, I'm Hanging by a moment here with you…

    Pete Yorn "Crystal Village"
    …Yeah, take my hand and come with me, into this crystal village. And see the lights so fried in brightness. Cause you will never have the time,
    I would love to change your mind. You were there, and it was good in the beginning…

    Blue October "Calling You"
    …I thought that the world had lost its sway (it’s so hard sometimes). Then I fell in love with you, and you took that away. You take away the old, show me the new, and I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you…

    Lifehouse "Unknown"
    …I am falling into grace, to the unknown, to where you are and, faith makes everybody scared. It's the unknown, the don't know,
    that keeps me hanging on to you…

    Liz Phair "Why Can't I?"
    …Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
    Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
    It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it, so tell me, why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?…

    Third Eye Blind "Blinded"
    So when I see you, you know all the things I've done, and I am blinded, like I'm staring down the sun, when I see you, when I see you, when I see you. It's like I'm staring down the sun…

    The Calling "For You"
    …Within the darkness, you are the light that shines the way. In this blind justice, I can be that man who saves the day. I'm there for you. No matter what, I'm there for you. Never giving up, you know it's true. You were there for me, and I'm there for you. For you.

    Linkin Park "Somewhere I Belong"

    When this began, I had nothing to say and I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me. (I was confused) And I let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind.
    (inside of me) But all the vacancy the words revealed is the only real thing that I've got left to feel. (nothing to lose ) Just stuck/hollow and alone and the fault is my own, and the fault is my own.

    I want to heal, I want to feel what I thought was never real. I want to let go of the pain I've held so long. (erase all the pain ‘til it's gone)
    I want to heal, I want to feel like I'm close to something real. I want to find something I've wanted all along, somewhere I belong…

    Foo Fighters "Times Like These"

    I, I’m a little divided. Do I stay or run away, leave it all behind?……It’s times like these you learn to live again. It’s times like these you give and give again. It’s times like these you learn to love again, it’s times like these time and time again…

    The Who "Behind Blue Eyes"
    No one knows what it’s like, to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes…

    Nickelback "Someday"
    …Someday I will. Someday somehow, gonna make it alright, but not right now…

    Vertical Horizon "I'm Still Here"

    …Maybe tonight, it's gonna be alright. I will get better. Maybe today, it's gonna be okay. I will remember…

    Sarah McLachlan "Fallen"
    ..In the lonely light of morning. In the wound that would not heal. It’s the bitter taste of losing everything that I’ve held so dear.
    I’ve fallen, I have sunk so low. I have messed up better I should know…

    Good Charlotte "Hold On"
    Hold on if you feel like letting go. Hold on it gets better than you know. Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer. Don’t stop searching. It’s not over. Hold on…

    Blink 182 "I Miss You"
    …We can live like Jack and Sally if we want. Where you can always find me, we’ll have Halloween on Christmas. And in the night we’ll wish this never ends, we’ll wish this never ends. I miss you. I miss you…

    Switchfoot "Meant to Live"
    Fumbling his confidence, and wond’ring why the world has passed him by. Hoping that he’s meant for more than arguments and failed attempts to fly. We were meant to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves? Somewhere we live inside, somewhere we live inside…

    Foo Fighters "Learn to Fly"
    I’m looking to the sky to save me. Looking for a sign of life. Looking for something to help me burn out bright. I’m looking for a complication. Looking ‘cause I’m tired of trying. Make my way back home when I learn to fly high. Make my way back home when I learn to fly…

    Staind "It's Been A While"
    It's been awhile, since I could hold my head up high. And it's been awhile, since I first saw you. And it's been awhile, since I could stand on my own two feet again. And it's been awhile, since I could call you. It's been awhile since I could say, I loved myself as well and,
    It's been awhile, since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do.
    And it's been awhile, but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you…

    American Hi-Fi "Another Perfect Day"
    I’m holdin’ on, waiting for your call. It’s simple but I can’t explain this. I’m sinking down, I feel like I could die. I’m fallin’ off I don’t know why…

    Finger Eleven "One Thing"
    …If I traded it all, if I gave it all away for one thing, just for one thing.
    If I sorted it out, if I knew all about this one thing, wouldn’t that be something…

    …Take this hand, lift me up, into your sky. Ah, hold me here, it’s just you and me.
    'Cause you make me fly. Oh, you make me fly…lyrics by Vertical Horizon, from the song, Inside, 2003.

    The Calling "Wherever You'll Go"
    …If I could, then I would, I'd go wherever you will go. Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go. Run away with my heart. Run away with my hope. Run away with my love.

    I know now, just quite how, my life and love might still go on. In your heart, in your mind, I'll stay with you for all of time.
    If I could turn back time, I'll go wherever you will go. If I could make you mine, I'll go wherever you will go. I'll go wherever you will go…

    Hoobastank "The Reason"
    …I just want you to know, I found a reason for me.
    To change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you.
    I found a reason to show, a side of me you didn’t know. A reason for all that I do, and the reason is you.

    Dashboard Confessional "Hands Down"
    Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember. I’ll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair, that you twirled through your fingers.
    And the time on the clock, when we realized it’s so late, and this walk that we shared together…

    And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist, and you kissed me like you meant it.
    And I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it, that you meant it. And I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it…

    311 (The Cure) "Love Song"
    Whenever I’m alone with you,
    You make me feel that I am young again.
    Whenever I’m alone with you,
    You make me feel that I am fun again.
    Whenever I’m alone with you,
    You make me feel that I am free again.
    How ever far away, I will always love you.
    How ever long I stay, I will always love. I will always love you…

    Kid Rock "Cold & Empty"
    …You are my heart you are my soul. Wherever you are that’s where I go. You know my ins and outs, all of my fears and doubts. It’s the life I love, but it’s you I can’t live without.
    Yeah it’s the life I love, but it’s you I can’t live without. Baby it’s the life I love, but it’s you I can’t live without. The life I love, the life I love, but it’s you I can’t live without.

    Jimmy Eat World "Sweetness"
    Are you listening? Are you listening?
    If you're listening whoaaaa
    If you're listening, Are you listening?
    Sing it back ah-ohhhhhh
    If you're listening, Are you listening?…

    Stroke 9 "Make It Last"
    …The way that you feel now, it's cool as long as I know, the way it's gonna be. Make it last, for an hour, we'll never feel this way again.
    Make it all that you want, and everything that I need. Make it last, make it last ‘cause you're not making me any promises. Make it last, make it last, make the best of what you see.

    Elton John "Funeral For a Friend"
    …And love lies bleeding in my hand. Oh, it kills me to think of you with another man.
    I was playing rock-n-roll and you were just a fan, but my guitar couldn't hold you
    so I split the band. Love lies bleeding in my hands…

    Alanis Morissette (Police) "King of Pain"
    There’s a little black spot on the sun today. (that’s my soul up there.) It’s the same old thing as yesterday. (that’s my soul up there.)
    There’s a black hat caught on a high tree top (that’s my soul up there.) There’s a flag pole rag and the wind won’t stop (that’s my soul up there.)

    I have stood here before inside the pouring rain,
    with the world turning circles running ‘round my brain. I guess I’m always hoping that you’ll end this reign, but it’s my destiny to be the King of Pain. King of Pain. I’ll always King of Pain. I’ll always be King of Pain…

    Elton John "Friends"
    …Making friends for the world to see. Let the people know, you got what you need.
    With a friend at hand, you will see the light.
    If your friends are there, then everything’s all right…

    Avril Lavigne "My Happy Ending"
    …you were all the things I thought I knew and I thought we could be. You were everything, everything that I wanted. You were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it.
    All the memories so close to me just fade away.
    All this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending…

    Air "Cherry Blossom Girl"
    I don’t want to be shy, Can’t stand it anymore.
    I just want to say “Hi” to the one I love.
    Cherry Blossom Girl.

    Keane "Somewhere Only We Know"
    Oh simple thing where have you gone
    I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
    So tell me when you're gonna let me in
    I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

    And if we had a minute why don’t we go
    Talk about it somewhere only we know?
    This could be the end of everything
    So why don’t we go somewhere only we know?

    Snow Patrol "Run"
    Light up, light up. As if you have a choice
    Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear.

    Gavin DeGraw "Nice To Meet You Anyway"

    You’re amazing. I’m attracted. But I’m terribly distracted. And I’m trying to be verbal, and I’m back into this circle. Cuz I just found someone special and that’s really somethin’ special.
    If you knew me, nice to met you anyway.

    Tesla "Caught In a Dream"

    It's my life to live my way, so I'll keep daydreaming away. Who knows, maybe someday it will all come true, and I will get my way
    And we will live as one. I'm caught up in a dream
    i'm gonna wish for it all. No one's gonna tell me how, no way, this is my dream now. I'm caught up in what seems simply impossible. I ain't gonna change a thing, no way, it's my dream.

  4. Robbie williams- Feel
    "I just wanna feel real love,
    Feel the home that I live in,
    I got too much love,
    Running through my veins, going to waste.

    I just wanna feel real love,
    In a life ever after
    There's a hole in my soul,
    You can see it in my face, it's a real big place."

    "Love me like a baby, love me like an only child
    Love me like an ocean; love me like a mother mild
    Love me like a father, love me like a prodigal son
    Love me like a sister, love me like the world has just begun
    Love me like a prodigy, love me like an idiot boy,
    Love me like an innocent, love me like your favorite toy
    Love me like a virgin, love me like a courtesan,
    Love me like a sinner, love me like a dying man."

  5. Peter Gabriel – In Your Eyes

    "love, I don't like to see so much pain
    so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
    I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
    I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

    and all my instincts, they return
    and the grand facade, so soon will burn
    without a noise, without my pride
    I reach out from the inside"

    Yes – Owner of a Lonely Heart
    "Watch it now
    The eagle in the sky
    How he dancin' one and only
    You – lose yourself
    No not for pity's sake
    There's no real reason to be lonely
    Be yourself
    Give your free will a chance
    You've got to want to succeed"

  6. Congratz on such an awsome deal…you are an amazing woman…I love nothing more than to see strong, beautiful, women recognized for her mind and how wonderfully the mind and soul of a woman works with all its simple complexity.

    Afew of my personal songs at the moment are:

    Greenday "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

    Trapt "Head Stong"

    The Indigo Girls "The Wood Song"

    GOD bless and keep you in your adventures.

  7. hmm…i see "Garden State" soundtrack all over your list…extremely good choice, one of my favorite movies/soundtracks to date!
    lovin´ reading your blog…keep up the good work!
    -steph (matlock)

  8. ahhh….Little Silver Ring…such good memories from The Samples….mostly of Liz, falling leaves, and Autumn (best time of year, and great for nostalgia) Thought I would marry the women I associate with that one…she will always be the one that got away :)

  9. I don't even remember what I was searching for now. All I know is that I have to thank google for poping your life into mine. It is now 5:30 am and I am still reading. I suppose going to bed soon and getting a little rest would be a great alternative to staying up the rest of the day looking like i had a wild night of drinking. i guess I need to send out a thank you to makup as well. But moving on….You have inspired me to start a blog. I like the idea of letting your personal life be read by anyone who wants to take the time to read about it. Instead of boring random people in person i can do it online! anyways Have a great day. and thank you again


  11. Your list is great…but I think anyone that puts in Billy Joel or Blink 182 should have their comments deleted, just to save them the hassle in the morning…

  12. When I was younger, I actually used to write down lists of songs that reminded me of a particular person or situation or time in my life. I wanted a handy reference for when I would brood about that situation. And, this was before itunes made the concept of playlists popular. I can't believe I used to have such an organized system for brooding. I somehow got out of the habit of doing this. Maybe, I should start again.

  13. Light Years Away by Mozella

    "It's almost like you had it planned
    It's like you smiled and shook my hand and said
    "Hey, I'm about to screw you over, big time"
    And what was I supposed to do?
    I was stuck in between you and a hard place
    We won't talk about the hard place

    But I don't blame you anymore
    That's too much pain to store
    It left me half dead
    Inside my head
    And boy, looking back I see
    I'm not the girl I used to be
    When I lost my mind
    It saved my life

    It's how you wanted it to be
    It's like you played a joke on me
    And I lost a friend
    In the end
    And I think that I cried for days
    But now that seems light years away
    And I'm never going back
    To who I was .."

  14. “Imperfection” by Saving Jane

    My hair’s a wreck
    Mascara runs
    My feet get dirty
    And my skin burns in the sun.
    My lips they bleed
    But I still sing my songs.
    Takes me a minute
    To admit it when I’m wrong.

    Pretty is as pretty does,
    But pretty’s not my thing.

    This is what you get.
    This is who I am.
    Take me now or leave me
    Any way you can.
    Sometimes I trip and fall
    But I know where I stand.
    And if you’re thinking about changing my direction,
    Don’t mess with imperfection.

    My back is weak,
    But my will is true.
    Got good intentions
    But I never follow through.
    I say too much,
    And don’t know when to leave.
    In case you’re looking,
    That’s my heart there on my sleeve.

    Ego trips and stupid slip ups,
    I’m a mess but

    This is what you get.
    This is who I am.
    Take me now or leave me
    Any way you can.
    Sometimes I trip and fall
    But I know where I stand.
    And if you’re thinking about changing my direction,
    Don’t mess with imperfection.

    Scratched and bruised,
    A little used,
    But baby I work fine.
    You might call me
    Damaged goods,
    But I’m one of a kind.

    My hair’s a wreck,
    No I’m not perfect
    But I’m not the only one.

    This is what you get.
    This is who I am.
    Take me now or leave me
    Any way you can.
    Sometimes I trip and fall
    But I know where I stand.
    And if you’re thinking about changing my direction,
    Don’t mess with imperfection.
    This is who I am.
    After if you’re thinking about changing my direction,
    Don’t mess with imperfection.

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