I’m a total slut when it comes to Mondays. Wednesday is so not happy hump day ’round these parts. My Mondays are always full of joy… because I know the Bachelor is on. Pathetic? Absolutely. And not just the stagings of the bachelor, but my favorite sitcom: The Big Bang Theory. I endure MTV’s The City, but mostly it bores and irritates me, and I’m ready to give it up. And this is what my life has become.

There. I said it. There was a time when I used to, straight-faced, say, "I don’t really watch TV." I wasn’t one of those extremists who believed it was evil and the damnation of family life, which it of course is. I simply didn’t have time for it. I was too busy living my life to watch someone else’s. And then I got what I asked for. A life of refrigerator magnets and voices calling my name when I walk through the door.

I am thankful for my life, for my health and the health of the people I love. I’m so lucky to have had my dreams come true. To have had children, to be married to a man who’d never lie to me, ever. To have found things in my life that I love to do, and to have figured out a way to get paid for doing what I love. I’m so lucky. But where do you go from here?

You go to the sofa. You go to the refrigerator. You go to facebook. You hide in all the busy to prevent the truth from bubbling up to the top: that you want it all. That you want to be a full-time mother, and that you don’t want to be a full-time mother. That you want to support your family, and that you want to be taken care of. You want someone else’s grass when you should be fertilizing your own lawn. You want more stories in your life, more LIFE in your life, and I’m not sure about how that happens in Austin, Texas. I’m ready for a change. For new, for exciting, for slutting it around, for living sloppier and leaving the sofa, for doing instead of reading about doing. How we respond to uncertainty in our lives is what defines us.

3 YEARS AGO: Before, Obsession
4 YEARS AGO: In the Nick of Time
5 YEARS AGO: Lunchlady Land