saturday on a monday

Spare me the "Gosh you should look into some sort of 12-step" shite.  I’m drunk, again.  And, it’s 2:13 AM on Monday night.  I just walked in the door, to a slew of emails and whines from the dog.  And, I heard myself saying, "Baby, those underwear are not for you."  Linus would love nothing more than to regale my underwear.  Fine, gross.  But that’s the deal.  I’m tired and quite frankly don’t know how I’ll make it  to work tomorrow, but I will, mostly because I have lunch plans.  I have nothing of substance to say other than, I say, "I hate you" too freely.  Like, if I really like someone, I pull out the, "I hate you."  I hate anyone who makes me unglued and messy and straddling situations.  But I feel most alive in that situation, so I love them and hate them for it…. because it happens so fast and never lasts.  Fast rarely lasts, but it can.  I’ve seen it happen.  And I know this is all very esoteric, so ignore this drunken post.  Know only this: I came home to a whining dog who wants nothing more than my underwear.  And I’ll fall asleep after I make myself climax at least twice.  It’s one of those nights.  One time is just a relaxation technique.  It doesn’t count.  Whatever, I wish I had the right person to share these moments with, but we know, we know, that’s not a new wish.  In the meanwhile, it’s me, masturbating until I laugh in climax, and me shooing my dog away from my Saturday on a Monday panties.  Because, I can.



  1. I Hate You is the new I Love You. I toss it around liberally when drunk, see circa this past Saturday night

  2. funny, my preferred long weekend brunch partner never gave me the courtesy of a reply. after oyster and wine pairings at aquagrill on monday afternoon i wasn't thinking "i hate you" but more accurately "i'm not sure i like you"

  3. Hi Stephanie just stopping in to catch up on your blog and say hello, have a good rest of the week. Chris.

  4. In your shoes, my concern would not be finding a man who could "deal" with the blog – but rather finding in-laws who could stand to look at my face across the family dinner table if they, God forbid, ever heard about or read this site out of curiosity. If you thought the last ones were hard to please, you can forget about the next ones. My advice would be to add "orphan" to your must-have qualities in a man.

  5. I wouldn't call this a film. But have you seen 'sky captain and the world of tomorrow'?

  6. I find solace knowing that I was not the only one drunk last night. I had to have a farewell party for Hunter S. Thompson last night. Congratulations on finding the fun zone when you arrived at your place. Moreover, this is my first time reading your blogs and I have to say that I find some your banter rather interesting. I think I found a new site to enjoy. I do suggest that you check out was my past form of entertainment on bored days.)

  7. Yes, nothing like rubbing, peeling, or banging one(or two) out solo when you're drunk and alone, or in my case, with a fiance that passed out before you. Answer me this seriously, because we're thinking of getting a dog. Does the dog get to watch? Either solo or tandem. I can see the case for "no", but it seems like if you love your dog, you wouldn't want him/her to think that you are doing anything wrong. I wouldn't want to hide things from the dog…emotionally. What are the sides to this arguement?

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