soul sisters

Maybe it was a thing of the 80s, or maybe it’s just a teen thing, or a camp thing, a boy girl, summer love thing, but for me, early love—not to be trivialized—can actually be heard on a mixtape. Like scent and its ability to transport us across time and fields, to a moment when we first entered the camp arcade to play Q*bert, music can connect us to moments and memories. But what if we haven’t experienced the moments yet? What if we’re just looking to create the connection? Hello! Enter the mixtape.

Q*bert Video Game

We forget that once upon a time, when we wanted, when we pined, when we ached… we controlled the shit out of someone else. By handing them a DOUBLE-SIDED mind-fcuk that programmed them into forced association. Listen to this and you will forever associate these songs with me. Every time this song comes onto the radio, you will now think of ME ME ME, oh, and by the way, ME! P.S. I totally love you FOREVER!!!

And you know what, I love me a good mind-fcuk. I find that shit flattering as hell. Wait, you want me to associate a song with you and us? Forever? Yes, please. Right back at you. Only I recently complimented a first love on his mix tape selections, and he admitted that he had his BUNKMATE pick the songs! WTF?!  (I now feel less sorry about the whole Peter incident)

So, today I reached out to a friend in Austin via Facebook:

Miss you and your entire family and dim sum and family game nights and creative cocktails with a random herb in it. And your laugh. Soul sister, I feel like we need a mix tape that we listen to when we get dinner ready or something, so we can at least feel connected that way. We should each contribute 5 songs.

I feel like I need to do this with so many of my friends who live a distance away, the joint, alternating playlist, the one we listen to at the same time each day, part of our routine. Something to create connectivity and ritual in place of proximity. We’re currently working on our selections via spotify. I am going to try hard not to pull any of the songs I listen to NOW, on my current playlists, because then, if I’m being honest, none of those songs will truly be associated with my friend. They’ll just be songs I like, that I want her to hear. So, I need new song suggestions! Songs for soul sisters, friendship songs for the ones who love you, win or lose.

[Does this exist: a site where you list basic pantry ingredients and say maybe 2-3 fresh ingredients only, list a date, then you post a photo or comments of what you made that night with said ingredients? Sort of like a play-along-at-home easy list of ingredients/flavors that go together. You can follow a recipe or create your own, then share the next day? Not only as a way to feel connected, and to create community, but also to stay inspired and creative and to foster new ideas and learning?] Anyone? I wrote about this ages ago and still wonder…




  1. Liz Phair – Polyester Bride
    Aretha – I say a little prayer
    Tori Amos – Cornflake girl
    Tina Turner – River Deep, Mountain High
    Alicia Keys – Girl on fire
    Bjork – Bachelorette
    Tegan and Sara – Back in your head

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