It’s always one or the other. Concealer or mascara. One is always a top response to the “if you could only use one beauty product” desert island question. Where are the pragmatic people who chime in with sunscreen? They’re off being boring.

This isn’t the deepest or most intimate of posts, I realize, but people have been asking me this question lately, so I might as well spill. Plus, I’m a girl, and makeup brings me joy, and I like sharing, and I’ll stop apologizing now.

Dior Show Black Out, if you can believe, is not making the cut amid my favorite mascaras simply because it’s too hard to remove. It takes me far too long, drags across my face, and what’s worse, the tube dries out faster than a popcorn fart in July.

Above, in harsh sunlight, you can really see the “Fascinating Violet” color of the lashes, but when you’re inside it’s far more subtle. I love this.

Yves Saint Laurent Volume Effet Faux Cils, in Fascinating Violet, $30
Experts will tell you that mascara should be tossed after three months in your drawer, what with bacteria building in that tube. But, I’m not going to tell you that, not when it comes to this mascara. Perhaps it’s because I don’t use it daily, but this YSL mascara has lasted me years. Not a year, but years, plural. Eek. There. I said it. And it’s still going! VIOLET looks natural on lashes. I can prove it: in art class, we were working with pastels, drawing still life pictures of vegetables. It was important to shade in realistic shadows. “There’s no black,” our teacher said. “When natural colors come together, they form browns and violets, not black.” So, for shadows, I used several colors to form an eggplant and its shade. It’s why I find this purply mascara to be the most flattering mascara of all. Also, purple shades enhance brown eye, making them appear greener.

Smoky Lash by Make Up For Ever, $23
It actually gives your eye a smoky look. I especially love this mascara in brown, not black. You know once your tube has past the expiration date because the mascara doesn’t wear the same throughout the day. Some mascaras dry up, so you know they’re old. This one stays wetter, but if it’s old it will flake off throughout the day. Even having experienced, I repurchase this mascara, especially in brown, because I find that it has the most flattering impact. Again, just love the brown, for night or day!

Clinique Bottom Lash, $10
If, like my mother-in-law, you’ve been incapable of applying mascara without getting it on your lids, lips or lobes, you must try this clean mascara with its itsy bitsy wand (the size of an ant!). My MIL applies this to both her top and bottom lashes, while I reserve it just for my lower lashes. The formula definitely defines, and it makes a HUGE difference when you apply this to your lower lash in a magnifying mirror. And at $10, you can’t not try it! Also, I get this in black, not brown, because it’s not a high-drama formula that’ll make you look creepy.

L’Oreal Voluminous 5x, $6
People swear by The Falsies, but this is my tried and true drugstore favorite, the mascara I go back to whenever I run out of an “everyday” mascara. In general, I’ve been very happy with L’Oreal mascaras, including both of these, on which I’ve received “You use Latisse, don’t you?” compliments (and, no, I do not use Latisse): Voluminous Million Lashes and Double Extend (first step is like white glue, showing you lashes you didn’t know you had–because it’s white, you’re more liberal with it!).

Mascaras I’m trying right now but haven’t tried for long enough to comment yet.:
Benefit’s They’re Real – I heard, though, that this is a pain in the ass gear to remove. Actually, it’s not hard to remove, but I am NOT a fan of this. The brush is a sharp plastic, making it hard and painful to get really close to the root of the lash. And it doesn’t really do a good volume job. No.

Rimmel Lash Accelerator, bored me. You know, I think my issue is that I’m now anti lash “lengthening” as a primary feature. We need volume at the base, a thick fullness, with light feathery lashes. I’ll never again search for a lengthening mascara. There is no point.

Blinc Mascara (mostly to see if it removes as well as it’s said to). I don’t know enough about this stuff.

Diorshow Heat CurlHeating Lash Curler, $26
I need to see if this makes any bit of difference on my lashes, as I’ve never seen a difference with any eyelash curler, heater or otherwise. This one is “inspired by the backstage techniques of Dior fashion shows for lashes with infinite curves.” Yeah, yeah, we’ll tell you. Dulce swears by it, though! “Though you need to make sure the battery is fresh and strong!” I wonder why everyone swears by the Shu Umera lash curler. I use a Laura Mercier one, and I cannot tell which lashes it’s going to capture in its grip, so the lashes get “crimpled” not to mention indecisive, with each lash favoring a different direction. Working on it.
UPDATE: Since writing this post, and saving it as a draft, I now own the Shu Uemura curler. I get it now. It works. I actually don’t “need” it though. My lashes just naturally stand up tall as soon as I add mascara. Still, I use it because why not?

Georgio Armani Eyes To Kill is quite killer. It’s my favorite, by far. Winner. The packaging is heavy, substantial, no dicking around. Wow, what a look. Just feathered and full, young and pouty, so plentiful. It looks rich and feline, especially if you tightline your upper lash line (that’s the line inside you lashes when you lift them up) with some black waterproof eyeliner.

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