the movers

THE MOVERS ARRIVE TODAY, round one. Mind you I was the girl who showed up to her first day of college with a moving truck and two men in uniformed shirts. I’ve moved so often that I’m now an expert packer (only I can’t pack a suitcase to save a pony). It’s kind of a convenient perk when you have family in the moving business, especially given how often I’ve moved—particularly in Manhattan. Today the truck arrives to take as much as I’ve packed, which isn’t enough. I haven’t even started on my closet or the kids’ room. Phil packed the entire kitchen. I’ve just finished the playroom. And it wasn’t until yesterday that we officially even signed a lease for a place in New York.

So, what did we decide? Phil visited the school in Roslyn, met with the principal, etc. Afterward, when I asked him how it went, he gave me an undistinguished syllable. “Eh.” When I pressed him further, he said, “Well, it’s not a bad school. It’s a school. The gym looks like a gym, the library like a library. They don’t use smart boards, they use the Columbia Teacher’s College approach to math, not the Singapore method. There are nine kindergarten classes this coming year.” While I heard the words, I was really focused on his tone.

Early this year he visited the Jericho school for which the kids would be zoned, for their kindergarten orientation. When I asked him how that went, Phil actually raved. I don’t even know about what he raved; I was too in shock. I’d never heard him so positive. And, what’s more, he actually said these words, “I was really, really impressed.”

I hung up, researching both schools again, Roslyn more closely this time. And I couldn’t get past that Roslyn High School didn’t make the Newsweek top 1000 public schools in the country. Not even on there. Beyond that though I just don’t love the idea of such a big school, for social reasons. I prefer a more intimate setting, where the parents get to really know the kids and other parents. It takes a village, not a county. The Jericho school has three kindergarten classes. But it’s not all about the school.

We actually looked into Manhasset, which would please us both, but nothing was on the market. Even things that say they are on the market are either taken or unavailable (can’t show it for a month, move in isn’t until September, etc.) I called Phil to let him know that I’d be okay with Roslyn, so long as if we were even the slightest bit iffy about the education, we’d buy in Jericho. To which he responded, “Let’s just do Jericho—on the condition that we reassess if the drive is absolutely too much on me.” We both exhausted the whole “are you sure this is what you want?” thing. I think we’re both happy with the decision… at least for now.

I figure if I’ve survived Boca, I can thrive in Jericho. It’s like that weighted baseball bat players use to warm up.

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COMMENTS:

  1. good luck with your move. i hope it’s a successful and uneventful adventure. welcome back to the island!!

  2. IMO, since Phil packed the whole kitchen that gives him a very large deposit in the relationship bank for which he can withdraw from when he’s behaving in a way that you don’t like.

    1. I’m sorry, but packing the kitchen doesn’t make up for what “I” perceive as Phil being an asshat the rest of the time.

      He packed the WHOLE kitchen?
      Whoa, buddy! Big lift!
      Don’t hurt yourself there.

      From what SK has written in the past, that house is HUGE!
      I don’t think Phil gets a gold star here.
      Sorry.

      In my book, his bak account is seriously overdrawn already.
      If he wants to make deposits to the bank of goodwill, he should be supervising that team of movers while Stephanie is on the patio with the kids relaxing or having fun.

      Maybe try and releive some of her stress for a change, rather than adding to it.

      –LAZ

  3. I can’t wait to see you through this whole moving process.. I’m so excited for all of you!!

    If you don’t mind me asking, which moving company are you using? I may be moving out of Florida this summer and need help in that department!

    Also – what are your thoughts on moving to Providence, Rhode Island (temporarily) Too Crazy? Have you ever been?

  4. It’s great that you made a decision that you are both happy with. And I don’t know enough about either town/school district to have an informed opinion. But what I can tell you, just because it’s interesting, is how the Newsweek Top 1000 schools list is compiled.

    There is a formula of course, a complicated weighted algorithm that can differentiate between #902 and #903…but in order to even be CONSIDERED…schools/districts have to submit. That’s right, it’s not actually an unbiased assessment of all public schools. In fact, this year I read that of the 26,000 or so public schools, only 2,000 submitted. And out of those, they selected the top 1,000. At that point, how meaningful is a place on the list? Well, that’s up to individuals to decide I suppose. It doesn’t make the schools on the list bad by any means, but there are most definitely some GREAT schools out there that aren’t being recognized.

    1. Thanks for posting that info, Alyson. SK- I think putting much stock in any of those media rankings is misplaced. The visits to the school are definitely worth a lot more. (And I can’t help but cringe at your emphasis on the importance of white boards, which have been mentioned in several posts!) Glad you found common ground on a good place to live. Best of luck.

      1. Author

        It wasn’t just the rankings and scores. It’s a feel for a place. And since I wasn’t able to go there and actually feel it, I had to let Phil do the feeling for both of us. The good news is, it’s KINDERGARTEN. We can always switch if we’re unhappy. And thanks to so many messages here that have assured me that it’s not a big deal at this young age.

        BTW: I dropped L&A off at “camp” today, first day. I put camp in quotes because it’s a Spanish Immersion Montessori school. They didn’t know anyone. Abigail clutched onto my leg and hid. The teacher held her hand and walked her to a table to introduce her. I went into the office to sign papers. When I returned to the classroom, Abigail looked like Octomom. She was bathing about 8 baby dolls and was surrounded by other girls. They adjust so fast. My heart grew to see it.

    2. This is absolutely true! All the stats in US News come directly from the schools.

    3. Author

      Thanks for posting this. I did know that the schools/doctors, etc. whatever the list is did have to put themselves in the running for it. I didn’t realize that they could submit their own information though. They could simply make up the average SAT scores of graduates? And why wouldn’t a school put itself in the running? Some type of processing fee, maybe? I can’t imagine that Roslyn wouldn’t enter their school in the mix.

      1. Any school that is sophisticated enough, and invested enough in its’ students authentic experiences, doesn’t give two thoughts about those stupid rankings. But then, I doubt you would care that much about authenticity if the right image isn’t being projected to the outside.

        1. Author

          I’ve been called a lot of things, and sometimes rightly so, but one thing I’m not is a fake. Right up there with “self-centered,” “authentic” is one of my strongest attributes. You really couldn’t be more off your game tonight. Because by saying that outside appearances and image matter most to me, you’re inferring that I favor acceptance over authenticity. Which just isn’t me.

  5. Looking forward to hearing new New York adventures. I’m sure they will outshine the Boca experience in a huge way. Best of luck.

  6. Are you KIDDING me?? The Newsweek list was what did it? That’s seriously like choosing your surgeon because she’s in the “Who’s Who” directory.

  7. Providence is depressing and filed with college students and strippers. Move to New York.

    1. Haha, Molly! You made me laugh. Where in New York? I don’t think I can afford it.. I’m going back to school to become a teacher!

      1. Author

        We have a house in RI (though I call it Phil’s). Newport. I’m guessing Newport is a whole different animal though. I’ve driven through, but that’s about it. In general, I think college towns are great, though. Not the bar scene, obviously. But education has a liberalizing effect, so there isn’t any backwoods crazy talk about abortion.

        1. Well, since I appreciate your advice immensely.. Stephanie, where would you go to school if you were me?? I don’t want to go somewhere too wildly expensive as I don’t want to be drowning in school debt for the rest of my life.. but I would like to be somewhere where I won’t be hating life!

          I want to end up somewhere in the northeast.. that’s why I thought RI would be a good choice for school.. until I can go where I really want to be.

          1. And totally jealous you have a place in Newport.. I’m sure it’s gorgeous in the summer!

            1. Author

              It is! I’ll be there this summer for sure! This time with the kids. Which is actually romantic. I first fell in love with Phil, in Newport. I can remember the moments in absurd detail. It’s why having our children there with us will be magical.

              Where should you go to school? How can I answer that? This is asked with love. Aren’t there a lot of factors to consider. Like, which schools you can get into, which programs you like best? Have you looked into student housing for graduate students? Like Bank Street or Hunter or Teacher’s College in NY? I’m sure PLENTY of grad students are in the same boat, looking to room up.

              They definitely are. I know this because back when I was in college, I dated men in graduate schools at Columbia, and they lived off campus, and some had a roommate.

      2. I am a teacher actually, and I went to Teachers College, Columbia, which was great. BUT, I did think I spent way too much money for it. Education classes are useless, and younlearn the most by being in the classroom. I would find a way to get an organization or city to pay for school such as New Visions in NYC (New Teacher Project), or Teach for America, or NYC Teaching Fellows. Stay out of debt, especially with jobs so scarce.
        Good luck!

  8. Best of luck on your move (I feel exhausted at the mere thought of moving!) I’m sure you’ll do just fine in Jericho. There are nice people to be found everywhere, and in no time you will have new friends.

  9. roslyn schools actually posted a little while back that they opted to not submit their information for usnews reports. i worked there – it was a wonderful district. but i’m sure jericho will be wonderful as well.

    i’ve met you with my friend at a book event or two (and by met, i maybe mean stalked and waited for the crowd to clear, and then gushed at how awesome you are). puhhhlease do some more events on li! would love to see you again.

  10. The statistics for the U.S. News & World Report “Best High Schools” rankings are drawn from a federal database called the Common Core of Data. Schools report student demographics to the state education department, which in turn reports the numbers to the feds. The ACT/SAT, International Baccalaureate, and Advanced Placement data comes from each of the individual testing agencies overseeing the exams.

    High schools can’t “make up” their own information. However, that doesn’t mean the numbers are always accurate. There were serious problems with this year’s rankings, and it turned out that incorrect information had been reported to the Common Core of Data. As a result, there’s a federal audit underway of the entire database. Here’s what I wrote about it: http://www.educatedreporter.com/2012/05/for-some-best-high-schools-ranking.html

    As for the Newsweek rankings, the list offers a slim (and arguably skewed) snapshot of school performance: http://www.educatedreporter.com/2012/06/high-school-rankings-give-skewed-view.html

    Good luck with the move, Stephanie. Your children are fortunate to have parents who make education a priority.

  11. For all your aspirations, of course you would end up in the North shore of LI. Who were you trying to fool, saying you were considering Park Slope or Dumbo? You will be with the Pottery Barn, Tory Burch, Athleta pants-wearing, competitive mom set. Will you like it? Will you be accepted? Remains to be seen. “Moving business” does not have the cachet that “finance” did and I suspect that matters to you.

    1. Author

      Lululemon, despite The Gap’s takeover. And your suspicion is off the mark. I don’t care what a man does for a living, so long as he makes one. I don’t base my self worth or identity on what someone else does for a living. I don’t even base my own sense of identity on what I do or don’t do for a living. Anon, it seems like you’re the one who cares.

  12. In Stephanie’s defense, Jericho isn’t really even considered the North Shore by those of us who live on it, and I’m sure she’s aware of that fact. Education seems to be her priority. As far as what her husband does for a living, that doesn’t seem to be much of an issue to people in these parts. In any case, clearly there’s enough of an income to be able to consider such a move in the first place, which is no easy feat for most people.

  13. Mmmm, I don’t care and I’ll take your word that you don’t either.

  14. Here’s hoping you have an uneventful move! And I feel you’ve made the right choice on schools AND looking at this as a “test” run. Once the summer is over and the normal rush hour begins, Phil will get a better idea of what’s what. And you’ll have learned much about the school and neighborhoods.
    Safe travels!

  15. All the best Stephanie, hoping it is all going smoothly! I look forward to hearing about your new/old turf. I imagine you are delighted to be back in the city again.

    1. Author

      (outside the city) And yes, it will be glorious to be near more family again, specifically for random made up holidays that call for impromptu gatherings.

  16. not that this matters all that much, but since you are moving to Jericho or Roslyn or East Hills or where ever in that area, because frankly they are all pretty much the same, Lululemon is Athletica. Athleta is owned by the Gap and is a completely different company. I just wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself at school pick up (and I say that in all honesty. Not to be snarky. Because this is what these people care about. a lot).
    Good luck with your move.

    1. Author

      Ha! Well, I couldn’t give a latex ass about any of it. Because all of it is for people WHO EXERCISE, or want to dress as if they do. I show up to school dropoff in whatever it is I wore to sleep the night prior. Unless I slept naked.

  17. congrats on the move! i live in jericho…i love it! if you are looking for a babysitter let me know! :) i have my masters in early childhood and i am looking for teaching jobs but want to keep busy over the summer!

  18. Stephanie, as I mentioned in a previous post on another thread I would wear my reindeer PJs to pick (if I had reindeer PJs.) And as for work out gear I find the $20 Yoga pants (which you can often get for an additional 20% off) to be perfectly awesome for working out or just looking like you do.

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