her hometown might be chicago, but she’s all florida

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The Bachelor, Ben Flajnik, sent Chicago girl Elyse Myers packing tonight. It happens. I have (almost) nothing to say about it other than these two things: 1) “What did I do wrong” is “the wrong.” Going there, blaming ourselves for “over,” is our single biggest mistake when we’re rejected; 2) Boca, all of Boca Raton, FL—aside from those with oxygen tanks—looks like this:

Elyse Myers from The Bachelor

Sorry, but it’s true. I’m only 7 months in, and even at this point, I’m also sorry to say, it’s nauseating to look at her, to look at all the “hers”in Boca. Why? Seriously, what is it that’s such a turn off to me? She’s only 24, but she looks like a cougar. I actually feel terrible saying it because I’m sure she’s a lovely person and I don’t mean to take Florida out on the poor girl. But this is mostly what I meet here in Boca. What is it about her that screams Boca, and not, for example, LA? Perhaps it’s not just her photo here, but something else about her on The Bachelor? I doubt it though. When I see the overly tan brunette I think of Boca and half of Turtle Bay apartments in NY (Midtown, East Side – recent grads from Delaware and Syracuse).

At least we have phenomenal  weather. Seriously, to be wearing flip-flops and tanks in January is heavenly. Just dreamy. I don’t like the sun and prefer rainy days, but not having my snot freeze is such a joy. By the way, this is me trying to do positive.

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  1. You should feel terrible saying it. Because aside from the fake tan, I don’t see the problem? She’s got a beautiful smile and a great body! Maybe you should venture out a little bit more in the tri-county area, get away from all those oxygen tanks.

    1. Agreed. She looks great and you being a shallow bitch about her looks makes you seem …jealous.

      1. Author

        It’s “your” being a shallow bitch. Use the possessive with “ing” verbs. All I can say on the jealousy front is that I’d rather have my cellulite, genuinely. From the bottom of my shallow bitch heart, I hope I never send off that Boca vibe.

        1. 1) Thank you for correcting my grammar. I am sure you did it to annoy me, but actually I appreciate it.

          2) I kind of get what you mean about vibes. I get a ‘NY area JAP vibe’ from you, which is why your bashing on the Boca crowd surprises me. No offense, of course.

          1. Anon, I agree with your posts. I know her and she did correct you to be annoying, and she is a total obnoxious JAP. I’m 100% Jewish, so it’s not meant to be a slam, but a true description of Stephanie.

        2. The correct word is actually you’re (contraction meaning you are, not the possessive)

          1. Author

            I could be wrong, as I often am, but I *really* think I’m right on this one. I only make a point of saying so, not to wound egos, but to clarify. If you read the entire sentence through, replacing ANON’s you with your proposed “you’re,” you’ll see that it doesn’t work as “you are.”

            The original: “She looks great and you being a shallow bitch about her looks makes you seem …jealous.”
            Your proposition: “She looks great and you are being a shallow bitch about her looks makes you seem …jealous.” Notice how in this version the verb “makes” makes no sense?
            The correct grammar for this well-received sentence is as follows: “She looks great, and your being a shallow bitch about her looks makes you seem …jealous.” Notice I also inserted a comma after “great,” as a comma is needed to combine a finished thought with a new one.

            I hope you don’t take issue with my (possessive) correcting (“ing” verb) your grammar; clearly you’re a sport.

            1. Where is Deleware? I’m pretty sure you meant to say “Delaware”. If you’re going to bash the grammar of people who comment, you might want to proofread your post a little better.

              As for the “Boca Look”, I agree. But it’s also the Jersey Look (as another commenter stated), and the Houston Look and the Phoenix Look…

              Girls today think if they’re tan (to the shade of a nice leather handbag), with extra bronzer, a little too much eyeliner, light (sometimes too frosty) lipstick and the requisite long, straight, hair that they’ll stand out as beautiful and desirable.

              But they don’t stand out at all because they all look like each other. They’re clones. And to the desirable part – I once heard a man say about a very beautiful girl, “She thinks she’s desirable, but what she is, is available.”

              1. Author

                Thanks for pointing out my typo. I’ll fix it. Also, I wasn’t bashing. Believe me, I can be an asshole–and make one of myself–but when I am an ass, I’m far more direct.

    2. Author

      What I ought to have added to my post is that there’s no question that she’s a beautiful girl. I just took that as a given. She has a fantastic figure and is of course symmetric (how we typically measure attractiveness, oddly enough). I wasn’t trying to remark on her beauty but more her overall “look.” There’s a sense you get, and I put my finger on it as best I could by likening her to a Cougar, which is itself a certain look. She’s 24, so I’m not calling her old-looking, but there’s something about her look that radiates the Cougar/Boca vibe. It’s what so so much of Boca looks like and I have no other way of saying it. It’s just one of those observations, a sense of “knowing” that you can’t explain.

  2. She looks Jersey to me, but I am totally with you on the cougar front. In the scene on the yacht when she said “I know I’m young, but…” I thought, “Wait, what? How old are you?” Because I had her pegged for at least five years older. Everything mom says about tanning really does come true, I guess.

    1. I so agree with you about this! I watched the show for the first time this season and didn’t know anything about any of the women. When they did the segment with this one I was shocked that she said she was 24 yrs old. She looks much older than that. The photo above is obviously doctored. It was also obvious that the guy had no chemistry with her. She prattled on and on and seemed way too desperate…as all of the women who appear on this show must be. It was too annoying to ever watch again.

  3. More murrey hill than turtle bay. Just a few unfortunate bars in turtle bay….
    From a turtle bay dweller here.

  4. Stephanie, I know what you’re trying to say and I agree. I live in Murray Hill and she would fit right in (I am not a fan of my neighborhood by the way). She’s overly done up, which to be fair the picture is a promotional shot. But the heavy makeup makes her look almost 10 years older than she is.

  5. I honestly want to know why people watch these shows. It’s not a judgement of Stephanie nor is it even related to this discussion, it’s just an honest question of mine. Women are portrayed as shallow, wedding-obsessed, money whores and the men are utterly douchey and just fixated on looks. There’s nothing real in any of it. If this is the American idea of love, then it’s just sick and it explains why our divorce rate is 50%, especially giving the rather poor track record of the couples lasting, it’s just absurd.

    1. I really don’t know, there’s a level of recognition in there, but also a disturbing desire to see women (I never really got down with the bachelorette) tear each other apart. I think this might be primal..

      1. You are quite right on that. It is primal; women competing publicly and viciously for ‘resources’ in this case the loser bachelor and the grand prize of appearances/money etc..fame. i find their clothes all so cheesy (like wet seal looking dresses..) cheesy superlatives and it’s not even worth watching ten minutes.

  6. I understand exactly what you’re saying. First, although she is very pretty, she does not look 24 – she looks like she’s pushing 30, and trying too hard to look ten years younger.

    Second, in my neck of the woods (a suburb of Atlanta), we’ve got the prototypes, as well, and I, too, get nauseated seeing carbon copy after carbon copy. You’ve got your Southern girls – bleach blonde hair down past their bought and paid for boobs, precisely one inch of roots showing, blue eyes framed by fake lashes, French manicures on nails that are a little too long to look classy, and spray-tanned. They either dress one of two ways – a little trashy, because we’ve got that white trash with money element up here, or Ann Taylor/J. Crew head to toe, with a Tory purse and Frye boots. Yawn. Or we’ve got the unfortunate looking Midwestern transplant housewives who have had surgery to correct said unfortunateness, and dress their two-hours in the gym a day bodies in head to toe Abercrombie and Uggs they should have stopped wearing 25 years ago.

    And I love making fun of them. :-)

  7. …and we continue to ‘hate on’ the women. Ben does not appear to be a catch, he’s simply on TV. Blech

    1. Author

      Agreed. He was a drip to watch on Ashley’s season, too. He actually comes off as a “nice” guy, and there’s nothing wrong with nice. But vanilla doesn’t make spicy TV.

  8. Stephanie, I don’t agree with you on a lot of things, but you are SO correct on this one. I lived in Fl for five years and there is a very distinct Fl look.

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