oscartini’s and cry babies

oscars austin 12 I have plenty to post, but you’re gonna have to wait for it. I need to collect myself, defrizz, hydrate, and sit with the thoughts. I need sleep.

We all screamed and wept like little girls when Sandy won. Sobs. Wet faces. The kind of thing you can only really do in your sweats and pj’s. Every woman who’s ever seen Hope Floats felt vindicated. "I’ve stuck with you, girly, through all your Forces of Nature and that bout of congeniality. We won’t mention Love Potion. There’s no cause to go to that dark place. Girly, you did it!"

Most overwhelming was not the amount of red look-alike dresses spotted on the red carpet. It was the alarming mass of cavernous wrinkles on my HD screen. It was tragic. It’s one thing to see a face of character, a face full of laughter and living, on someone who’s earned it: the gorgeous Helen Mirin, the adored Meryl Streep. But it’s beyond distressing when Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a catcher’s mitt.

Mind you, I’m not ragging on the ladies; I’m pissed at the technology. HD technology adds ten pounds or wrinkles to the camera. Cameron Diaz, while brilliantly dressed, looked like Magda from Something About Mary. It was so bad, in fact, that instead of wanting to know the history of prior nominations for each actress, we’d hoped a running ticker of age and height might scrawl across the screen.

Because the truth is, even though we’re nothing like these red carpet beauties, we want to believe we are. Hollywood wants us to. Relatability. Someone you can connect with. The every woman. Or the envy woman. These every and envy women are in and out of our lives, in our bedrooms, living with us in our living rooms. We feel we know a part of who they are. And sometimes we find ourselves likening our hair to theirs, our laugh, our ability to dance, or not dance, to a certain role each actor has played. In the role of life, we want to hold ours up to theirs for a temperature check. Is that how I should look? So how ‘m I doing?

Without exception when a young actress was featured, someone would ask, "She’s our age, right? Quick, go to IMDB." Mind you the friends who joined me last night ranged from age 30 to 43, so really, we were just trying to pin down a decade.



  1. You are so creative. I need to move to Austin and stalk you, so you’ll invite me to your parties. I can’t believe that’s your front door.

  2. Avatar lost. That’s crazy heart. I’m looking forward to what you have to say Ms. Klein.

  3. I’m curious to hear your thoughts, as a writer, on the adaptation films. Precious vs. Up in The Air. I know you’re adapting your book to film now and am really hoping you get to this question. But, I also know you’re busy!

  4. While nominated in the Best Picture, Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role, and Best Adapted Screenplay categories, An Education didn’t receive the recognition it deserved due to the more popular Avatar and Hurt Locker. It’s a must-see! DVD is due out on the 30th. You’ll swear you’re looking at the young Audrey Hepburn when you see some of the shots of Carey Mulligan.

    1. Author

      This movie moved me deeply. I didn’t just identify with the young heroine. I identified with her teacher, and also with her father. The most moving scene, hands down, for me, was when her father was outside her room, listening to what she had to say. I don’t want to say more, for fear of giving something away to others. But that moment was so powerful.


      When the father knew the truth, and knew she was telling him another story, to see his face, to know his pain. That was incredible.

      1. Interesting. One of the reviews (with which I didn’t agree) said that the scene when her father was outside her room was the only segment that didn’t ring true. I’m with you.

  5. Love the photos you posted on Flickr, but I never know to look for them there. I mostly read at work through RSS, so I don’t get to your actual site unless I’m home, so I didn’t know about the photos. Is there a way for you to add links to posts?

  6. And while we’re on the subject of Oscars…..last night we watched “Up.” Such a poignant animated film that imo is destined to become a classic. I knew nothing about it until I heard the score segment played during the awards and knew instantly that it was the clear-cut winner. After viewing the film itself, it was so obvious why it also won in the Best Animated Film category. Just wonderful. Don’t miss it.

  7. HD t.v is the great equalizer-almost.

    Sarah has wrinkles, like most 40 don’t ask don’t tell year olds.

    Tom Cruise is NOT 6 feet tall, and George Clooney, has a big head, he’s all head, no body, just head.

    Brought to you by the magic of Hollywood, surgeons, and photoshop, perfect angles….

    Wrinkles and all, unless any of you DON’T have playdoh where triceps should be, Sarah Jessica Parker,Sandra Bullock, Cameron Diaz is the apples to your oranges.


  8. I love how you captured the feeling of every 20/30 something woman watching S.Bullock.

  9. The Oscars to me are finger foods and cocktail napkins. I don’t know why? I mean I’m not in the industry. I’m an actuary.

  10. Me and the girls were eating tofu burgers and yelling at George Clooney to wipe that stupid smug off his mug. Kinda wish ABC had been banned.

  11. I didn’t really get PRECIOUS and why it was nominated. If being obese is Academy worthy,bring on MOOSE!

  12. I really think your red carpet idea is fab! next year I’m gonna appropriate it, okay?

  13. Will you please post Oscartini recipe? Thanks in advance!!!

    This is the first year that I’d seen a majority of the Best Picture noms. That said – Quentin Tarantino must really, really, really be a gigantic a-hole. I thought ‘Inglourious Basterds’ was amazeballs. Even made me like Brad Pitt again. The whole ‘politics in Hollywood’ theory must hold water. ‘The Hurt Locker’ was a great film but really? Better than ‘Inglourious Basterds’ or ‘An Education’?

  14. I actually kind of liked seeing the celebrities looking their age that night. It’s kind of like, “Celebrities! They are just like us.” (At least in HD.) I’d much rather see that than some kind of Melanie Griffith/Madonna abomination of Botox and plastic surgery.

  15. This post reminds me of something Jon Stewart once said to Bill O’Reilly. I’d elaborate, but it’d take too long.

    I was filmed in HD once. I’ve been depressed ever since. More or less.

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