Thank you for taking the time to meet with Stephanie and me yesterday. You seem like a very nice person and your studies are consistent with Stephanie’s desired counseling techniques as well. Upon leaving we did have some questions.
The fee of $175 seems un customarily high from our research and wonder the basis for it as it is something we never discussed. Is this a consistent fee per 50 minutes?
It is our intent to have individual goals for each session as well as overall goals for the counseling. Unfortunately, I did not feel any advancement following our meeting other than fact finding. Being our first session it is understandable however, it is still imperative to know there will be value/insight in each visit.
When I asked you if you would ever tackle a specific issue by providing your thoughts your response was "The only thing I might say is if you continue with that path there is an 86% chance of divorce." Did I hear you correctly? It sounds as if the method of using fear as a motivation is counter to my goals.
In addition, you had stated a large part of your practice is knowing when our heart rate is over 100BPM as it is then we think irrationally. I wonder how you will know our heart rate but more importantly that is assuming we don’t have the faculties to think rationally and be animated at the same time. I guess i just didn’t understand beyond a general portent what your goal is with our heart rate.
Couples counseling is a big commitment in time, emotion and money. The counselor/couple dynamic is a conflict of interest as there is always a financial incentive for continued/more frequent sessions which is not necessarily dependent on the progress of the counseling. As we walk into this relationship I thought it important to voice concerns and hopefully get your feedback.
Again, thank you for your time.
I wonder if she’ll contact Phil in response to the letter he sent her above. We do have another appointment scheduled with a different therapist, as well as a second appointment with this counselor. We’ll see what comes of it. I don’t know what you can expect of a first meeting, really.
I think the problem is that she wouldn’t let us get into the actual problems. Instead she asked us questions about the day we met, what we loved about each other, to tell her about our wedding day. And although she didn’t say as much to us, I TOTALLY GET why she asked us these things: to assess how bad our situation is. That is to say, if all a couple can remember are the bad memories, that’s how bad it has become, but if they still light up about their courtship, about their wedding day, etc. then you know there’s still love there. We both went on and on about all the things we love about each other, but at the end of the day, you can also have some deal breakers. You can still feel more unhappy than happy in your life, and then you either make changes or you make bigger changes.
I think Phil was hoping that we’d discuss an issue and get a chance to see her style, to see how she’d coach, when she’d interrupt, see how she could add value. I understand what she wanted to see in us. But also spending $175 to reminisce for 50 minutes seems pricey, no?