Finish this sentence: I’m as lazy as…

*Finish this sentence will now appear each and every Tuesday. Because I love it, and I’m lazy, and I might just use the best line in Moose (without even giving credit! Woo hoo!) Okay, I won’t use it. It’s just for fun. If you prefer, just make a $20,000 Pyramid list of "things that are lazy." I’ll post my list, or sentence, at the end of the day, and then you can chime in and pick your favorites.

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In Moose, I think I’ve narrowed it down to "Susan." Though I was tempted by "a pregnant hippo with a trick knee" because a trick knee is always funny. But funny like that wouldn’t have worked in this context anyway. Here’s the context:

She walked to a chrome sink and washed her hands with foam. I sat upright in my paper gown, glancing at the chair across the room where I’d parked my shorts and running shoes. I could bolt my way out, rip into my sneakers, tighten my gown, and bushwhack my bare bottom through the forest of ultrasound technicians, genetic counselors, and maternal-fetal medicine specialists. But I was as lazy as Susan. I just sat there and grunted.

We weren’t about to listen for the heartbeats, and there’d be no ultrasounds this visit. I was about to be weighed. 
“Ahem,” I grumbled to Philip with my finger pointing to the door. My vagina, my husband could see. But my weight was another story.

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This is what I love about a second draft, the ability to go back in and tool around with words and ideas.
A list of other things I was considering:

As lazy as…
a semi-circle
a crock pot
a popcorn ball
a jar of minced garlic
a brussel sprout
a drink coaster
a prize pig at the County Fair
goulash
Sunday
room service
an electric knife
peanut butter and jelly that comes in one jar
a parasite
a half moon

I was about as active as a concrete block
I was about as active as cement

Phil’s answers:
a reclining chair
a snooze button
a pickle in brine
a hippo in a swamp

I ultimately went with Susan (I think), making reference to a lazy susan, which is food-related, but not in an overt way. I’m sure some readers will perk up, and say, huh? Who’s Susan? But then they’ll get it. Maybe. My second runner up was semi-circle. Though I did like ones that didn’t make sense, but you still got the idea. I liked images of heavy objects, or funny words. And this is just an inside look at the brainstorming process.