who’s your daddy?

I was in the bathroom, commenting through the door that I didn’t have time for a bikini wax while in New York.  "Do you care?" I asked. 
"Crushed," he said. 
"Really?  I mean you really care if, what it looks like?"  No answer.  "Hello?"
"Can you please flush and come out here if you want to have a conversation?" 

When I joined The Suitor in the living room he was holding a gucci box that had been slightly crushed.  "Crushed," he repeated as he held the box toward me with both hands and a sad expression. 
"What’s this!?" I squealed.  "A surprise!  A good surprise, but for what?"

"To the future mother of my children, happy Mother’s Day."  It was written on a card, affixed to a gucci box.  No, we’re not pregnant yet.  The other night, at our friends’ wedding, I had to borrow an evening clutch from my friend, as I didn’t own one.  "I saw you carrying Amy’s bag, and I want you to have everything you’ve ever wanted," he said.  The bag is beautiful.  Thoughtful.  It’s the kind of thing that has always happened to my friends, never to me.  He, in that moment, became everything I ever wished for.  It wasn’t about the logo on the bag.  It was about the surprise, the gesture, the knowing.  I love him.



  1. I love him too for that gesture. For knowing. He sounds like a good egg. You are very lucky!

  2. That is so, so cool. I know what you mean — it's not the label, it's the fact that he's paying close attention because he wants to be paying close attention.

    For me, it was three bags of Target gummy dogs (the absolute best), but two hidden away so when I finished the first bag and was disappointed, he could present me with another immediately. I like immediacy.

    And he was actually listening when I casually mentioned I wanted to read "Overthrow," a new book about American imperialism, after hearing the author on "Fresh Air." I was sick a few weeks ago, and he brought it to me when I was under the covers and depressed.

    That's love. Not showiness in public or always agreeing or whatever it is some of your readers think. You've got it.

  3. i had someone who loved me like that once, but i hit a tough time in my life and just threw him away. you are truly lucky.

  4. That is incredibly thoughtful and adorable of The Suitor!!! It is SO sweet of him!

  5. Woah. I'm pregnant, and when I spoke to my mother and grandmother on Sunday, they reminded me that "next year we'll be sending YOU a Mother's Day card…" and I flipped out. So much pressure! So many changes!! AAACK!!!!
    Still, nice gesture on Phil's part. Can't say I wouldn't have reacted aversely, but that's probably my ridiculous hormones talking.

  6. that is the nicest thing I've ever heard. (But why don't you own a clutch?)

  7. He sounds absolutely amazing Steph. I wish nothing but happiness, love and a family to call your own one day. You will have that. You have the love already; now it’s just that love manifesting itself into a bundle of joy—your future child.

    My girlfriend and I would love to have a child the conventional way—but obviously, not happening, unless we adopt of have artificial insemination. Raising a family full of love, happiness, and lots of laughter is what I see for you.

    Wishing you the best of luck!!!

  8. The Suitor is just so sweet. That's also something that has always happened to people I know – I'm glad it happened to you.

    Sherry York at Kisma Hair and Spa (www.kismahairandspa.com)is great for bikini waxes. She has a way to make a full Brazilian not so embarassing and awkward.

  9. I think the best things people can do for each other start with just what you mentioned: noticing things. Whether it's someone remembering that you like, "mustard, no mayo" on your sandwich and surprising you with that combination when they grab food on the way home or buying a kick-ass clutch, the important thing is that they care enough to really pay attention.

  10. See, that wasn't hard. You posted something nice about TS, and now the people who commented about him, despite not knowing either of you, will now have a balanced perspective. Anyway, I don't get any of it, but as long as you appreciate it, then it's important.

  11. And I love this post. What a sweet story. Could we see pictures of the bag? I dont know about everyone else, but I am a purse freak. If I were rich and famous I would have hundreds and Im always interested in other peoples bags as well. Congratulations on your lovely surprise.

  12. Big points for The Suitor. Gotta love the gesture and the thoughtfulness. Yaay for both of you.

    Oh and uhm, as an aside? All the ass-hats that are always saying he is an insensitive jerk? I believe you could probably all go piss up a rope right about now….high marks, in my books.

    I'm very happy for you Stephanie, talk about feeling like a million bucks. Happy-happy-happy for both of you!


  13. The Suitor is great, which of course you already know, so here I am simply stating the obvious. But I'm good at that. So happy for you.

  14. It's always nice when they do something nice for no reason..It makes it that much more special… So nice to hear a story of The Suitor being a Great Guy!

  15. Wow. I love him too.

    Mine took me to a Wu-Tang concert and to Blue 9 burger for Valentine's day. And though I do love the finer things, it was just what I needed then. Then you know it's positively real.

  16. That is so sweet of him… That sort of gesture keeps relationship always fresh…!
    Gucci bag… yummy.

  17. OK…I happily take back what I said about the Suitor being a jerk. I'm happy for you both!

  18. gasp – i love it. isn't it wonderful when the man you know he is turns out to be better than you had ever imagined?

  19. If you need a reference for a good Brazilian/bikini wax in Austin, I go to a great lady!

  20. What every girl wants in their life. Congratulations on finding the "ONE."

  21. As a guy, that's the type of thing that we hope to be able to surprise women with. Guys just have to be paying attention when the chance comes along…

  22. Stephanie — this takes me back to your wistful post where the Wasband just didn't pay attention. He didn't realize that you wanted the nickname "Red" and that you wanted to be adored, not just loved.

    I'm so happy that you've found someone who pays attention.

    Phil — thanks for knowing what our friend needs (or wants). And for truly knowing her.

  23. yep, he did good, really good. that gift is so much more than what was in the box. he pays attention and listens and that is so huge. he wants to meet your needs. i swear i might cry if i read this post again, it's that beautiful.

  24. He, in that moment, became everything I ever wished for.
    Wasn't he already everything you've ever wished for?

  25. the story is so lovely but all i want to know is what bag he bought you? haha

  26. Stephanie – so glad he knows how to make all of your dreams – little and big – come true.

  27. WOW!
    You both are so lucky t ohave each other! That has got to be the SWEETEST thing ever! I wish u nothing but happiness and lots of BEAUTIFUL and HAPPY and artistically talented children :P This guy just raised the bar for ALL men ;)

  28. Here's me showing this to my "he", Where's my not-quite-a-mother-but-almost mothers day gift?

    The Suitor is swell.

  29. That is a good move …
    Our 1st Christmas together, my husband presented me with a much coveted Dooney & Burke bag – which amounted to about double my car payment at the time (serious $$$). He knew I had always wanted one, that I would never buy one for myself and he is and ANTI-labels person, but he got it anyway. Ironically, I carried it back and forth to work in the store bag, thinking I would “move into it” one day during work, after about a week, I determined that it was too much $$ for a bag, that it was too long of a commitment to a bag (they have a lifetime guarantee, but I knew I wouldn’t love it for a lifetime .. then I would feel awful), so I brought it home and told him to return it. He was shocked and incredibly proud of me, since then (6 years) he has never once complained when I purchased a new (less expensive, but still a *smaller* name brand) bag.
    Anyway … that’s my story! Men can really surprise you, if you just let them … and they do listen every now and then …

  30. Nice move, Suitor.
    Funny, when I read this I mistakenly thought you got a Godiva box until I got to the clutch part. Shows you where *my* mind is.

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