looking up

My day was shite.

For once it had nothing to do with a sunny Sunday in Crapass Central. It had everything to do with a Saturday night of overreacting, chicking out as only I can, and obsessing for too long over things that in the long run just don’t matter. And the beautiful thing is, I was saved. I was feeling like crap, ready to suck on some Nyquil, spank the bottle until it was emptied clean. When I’m anxious, I don’t want to live through it; I want it to go away. Usually time helps, and I’d rather let it pass while I’m sleeping than sufferening through it. I just wanted to wake up the next day hoping to start fresh. But I didn’t have to medicate.

“Just meet me for coffee.” And I didn’t want to because I was set on a pity party, and my hair was a mess and there was no energy for eyeliner or mascara. I didn’t want to go there; I was too full of anxious to invite coffee into the system. “Fine, hot chocolate. Please just 15 minutes.” Coffee was around the corner; no bra or make up necessary.

“Okay, hot chocolate it is. I’ll see you in a half hour. ”

He’s the type of guy who will always offer to pick me up, despite our heading back in the direction from where he’d just come. I love that. Love. Then, being with him set me at ease immediately. Fuck it. I was beyond cocoa and ready for more. So we walked, and I never walk, but with him, I walk, holding his arm smiling. Unexpectedly, I was giddy, laughing, and telling stories into a night of another two bottles of wine, way too many appetizers, and even more stories and philosophies were shared.

His RPM amazes me, his ability to take me from a 2 to a 9 on the mood scale is no small task. And he did it in moments. At dinner, he said, “I like you. Period. And I don’t care if I put all my cards on the table and you never want to see me again. I’m putting it out there.”

And I responded, “That’s fcuking hot.”

And now, instead of waiting for time to pass, hoping some Nyquil will kick in, I’m looking forward to our next time together. I fell asleep smiling.



  1. A quote from one of my favorite movies and an excerpt from my book…“Remember Red, hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.”

  2. Congrats…sounds like you found a keeper. He makes you happy, he'll go out of his way for you, he's upfront, he's got balls, and you can't wait to see him again.

  3. Robotnik, yes on TSR! Nice peg. Who/What, pray tell, is King? It isn't me.

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