There’s opening her side of the car first, the half-stand at the table, walking along the outside, closer to the curb, when you’re by her side. But those aren’t power moves; they’re etiquette. And when a man is a gentleman in this way, I pay attention immediately. He passes the test.
Men have tests. They wait to see how she’ll take care of him when he’s sick, and if she does that well, he’s pretty much done. It’s over. She wins. It’s so mommy. The way to his heart is through his stomach… so she cooks and takes care of you when you’re really sick. Then you’re done—call off the hunt… this is the woman for you? Is this mostly true, assuming you’re already attracted to her mind and body?
This summer, I had a very brief divot of dates with a guy who tested me incessantly. Besides quizzing me on trivia and teaching me the military alphabet, he’d pose “what if’s” to me. “Hey Stephanie, what if I were to dive from here. Think I can do it?” He posed the question as if he were about to dive into shallow water, with a running dive. “Come on, I want to try it. Think I can do it? How much of running start would I need?”
“Don’t do that. You might get hurt.”
“Ahah, you passed the test.”
“The test?” My eyebrows pinched together.
“I wanted to make sure you cared about me.”
“Try asking next time.” What a shmuck.
We all have tests. Many women I know begin with telling the man she’s with, maybe we should take things more slowly, or take some time apart. It’s very foolish, and manipulative, and I’ve totally done it. Many times, we do it to hear a declaration. “No. I don’t want to lose you. You’re important to me.” I’ve learned this manipulation, if I feel myself doing it, is a sign for me. If I’m acting out like this it means I shouldn’t be with him… clearly my needs aren’t being met. Clearly, I need to be with a man who I don’t need to test. I should know he doesn’t want to lose me without having to push it. I should know it because he says it, know it because he shows it.
Summer Diver Dude got in with me with his power moves.
Moving misplaced hair… not the kind growing between browns, but a misplaced curl, he brushes aside when you’re mid sentence. In that one move, I know you’re paying attention, even if you’re not listening to a word I’m saying. I feel taken care of. And that’s your power move. I feel coveted and adored in that one small gesture.
When you kiss me, you use your hands. It shows passion. Use them to pull me close, on the small of my back, or brushing a finger along my cheek, or under my chin. I’m pretty much done there, swooning.
Turning my head toward you, gently, with one of your hands beneath my chin is a good one. The move shows you have patience and sensitivity. It’s hot.
MEN: What small gesture can a woman perform– ahem, blowjobs are no small gesture—that does it for you? Do you have your own power move that works like a charm every time? Inquiring minds want to know. Spill it.
WOMEN: Chime in with more power moves you spot in men. What does it for you?