sob story

For the first time in my life, I don’t think I have the words to drape over these horrible feelings of pain. I feel betrayed, completely rejected, ugly, lonesome, foolish, and week. I have no strength left for feeling second. My throat hurts from crying all day. I need another Hugh Grant movie and a new nose…. mine is too stuffed. I can’t breathe. I’ve been outside all day, studying the clouds, trying so hard to remind myself that it’s not the end of the world, there’s a whole universe out there. And I know I won’t remember this pain in a few weeks. But my feelings aren’t convinced. I feel like I’ll always be picked last. For sports, for teams, for plans, in this life.

Picture this scenario. Two dudes at a bar. One guy is feeling an insane need to speak to a woman across the bar. So his friend is a sport and goes for the ugly girl to help his friend out. I know there’s a clever name for this wingman, but I don’t know it. I feel like I’ll always be the ugly girl to everyone. And no, this didn’t happen. There was no wingman. Yet, I still feel like the leftover chopmeat in the fridge. Days like this, I hate my red hair, despise my freckles, and all of manhattan. I don’t care how good I am at any of my creative outlets, cooking, or friendship. I am terrible with rejection, and even worse when I feel betrayed. I am hating every single second of this day. I am just miserable. And can’t stop sobbing. And I know I’ll be fine again. It’s just human, and well, I’m a little too human today. Not to worry, I’ll be supergirl again soon… ya know, once I’m out of tears.



  1. well, even supergirls get the blues. Only human.

    I'm sorry someone was foolish enough to tread on your feelings. But dont start thinking you're not hot, charming, or great enough. OK, perhaps I don't really know you – but you're so pretty! And I would die to have such gorgeous, thick hair.

    Don't let The Man get you down.

    Hope you start feeling better –

  2. But, Steph, why so upset? Those guys weren't worth 20 seconds of your life. Give them no more thought, please. And never again be so hard on yourself. You're doing more hurt than they possibly could.

  3. If any help…you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen/met…inside and out…

    I feel the way you do sometimes…but I'm sure you're more the main "target" of two men's affections I'm sure from across the bar…they probably just flip a coin to see who is lucky enough to go for you…maybe the other is more your type…but you take people's breath away…did mine…still do…

    don't let the clouds get you down…


  4. From looking at your photos, I think you are pretty, ESPECIALLY your hair. Silly girl. Bars are a crappy place to meet people to go out with, anyway.

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