when being a fatass can do a heart some good

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Part of the New Orleans Collection

Back when Phil was still The Suitor he invited me to join him after one of his business dinners at Lure Restaurant on Mercer. "After" never came. When I arrived fashionably on time (late is oversold these days), expecting loosened ties and cigars, I was surprised to see a shoreline of Fannie Bay oysters, stone crab claws, lobster tails, and cockles. Mid-bite, my suitor flagged me down, inviting me to join the table full of cocks and cockles. My kinda night. Only thing missing? My buzz.

It was a night of overabundance with wines you’d read about in reviews, wondering who the hell reads reviews anyway, and who, dare I ask, has the opportunity to sniff, swish, and spit (as if!)?  Most notable that evening was the host: John Codling. A friend and business associate of Phil’s, John has had a life less ordinary.  A self-made success story with a tragic undercurrent of 9/11 losses.  

With stories of shitting his pants behind him, John is now married with son and fat. Yes, fat. John sings to fat, showers with the guy, and even brings him donuts after sex. But senor fat is merely a temporary occupant in the John (pardon the pun). "Temporary" because my buddy John is running the NYC Marathon, releasing the weight in honor of Paul Nichols. Paul was there for John, and countless others who needed support, and recently, Paul passed from his own battle with cancer.  Through his Team Continuum, Paul’s battle continues, turning cancer into can.

I want to support my friend John and to say thank you for keeping The Suitor out late that night, for being warm and welcoming, and always making me laugh… and think. You’re an extraordinary person, and I’m thankful you’re in my life. Only, brothah, we wish there was "less of you" in it. 

And about your buddha buddy fat… think you can arrange a set-up with my sweet little muchacha fat? She’s tired of sitting on the sofa with me, and she’d kill a small horse for the opportunity not to be subjected to "I’m a Celebrity: Get Me Out Of Here." She and your fatty mcfatpants can go stab tubs of Bearnaise at this little restaurant we like to call Lure FishBar, while I cheer you on from the sidelines, wearing neon pink and yellow in your honor.

 A YEAR AGO: 40 Carrots
4 YEARS AGO: Clean



  1. OMG….JOHN, THE LITTLE BRITAIN OUTFIT JUST DID IT FOR ME…this is hysterical……..and of course i know you wil do it..I just hope your half as hot as a skinny bitch as you are as a fat bastard…..!!!!!!!!!omg…..pick me up off the floor…

  2. Isn’t this a tad insulting about his being fat? Have I missed something? Its not funny to me.

  3. Carol he is raising money for cancer for each LB he loses. There is a video entitled John Codling Is Too Fat. And Stephanie asks for “a sit down” with her fat! Now I’ve heard everything. You’ve actually found a way to read a post praising someone for being a good person and friend and asking for contributions to fight cancer predicated on losing weight as insulting.

    File under “can’t please everyone”

  4. She didn’t get it. Explain it and move on. I don’t think being sarcastic asshats moves the cause forward. Even when promoting a good cause the pretension shines through.

  5. John,
    You are awesome!
    You can count on my contribution!
    Many wishes for success,

  6. To be fair to Carol, the whole entry was a little ambiguous to say the least, lurching from “date with suitor” to “wine tasting” to your friend with a 911 history, to appearing to insult his size. I was expecting a “drunken blogging” tag underneath it. Nowhere does it actually say that he’s raising money by losing weight.
    Phil’s response was totally uneccessary.

  7. This is genius way to honor the loss of a dear friend. Now can I sponsor John a little extra per pound, and he’ll take off some pounds for me? Best wishes!

  8. Why are the women who comment on this blog so out of it. John, hysterical and awesome and I’ll contribute.

  9. Not sure why everyone felt the need to jump on Carol….

    The video was beautifully done. I wish him luck. BTW, went to his website to sponser John, and noticed that Stephanie and Phil have yet to put their money where their mouths are!

  10. So it was a little confusing. Watch the video. It clears everything right up. John – I appreciate what you’re doing. Good people doing good work. That’s what makes the world go round.

  11. I agree with Kat. Great cause but the post was confusing. Sort of all over the place meets trying too hard.

  12. He’s adorable. And creative.
    Concerned that his goal might be too ambitious for the time allotted.
    Take care of yourself!

  13. Great work, John. All of us cancer battlers appreciate your lard-ish but shrinking ass.

  14. I’m a 25-year-old Austinite who has fought an eating disorder for half of her life. I’ve recently become really angry about how much control my fat has controlled my life. Even on days when I feel good about myself, which are rare, my weight provides a constant negative undertone. You seem resigned to allowing fat a significant space in your mental consciousness. Are you ever angry that such a thing as “being fat” exists? I know that I personally am trying to deny fat that right.

  15. Good luck to him… seeing an update here (on GT) would be nice too. Not sure what the 9 11 tie is but that certainly is enough to know i am rooting for you. ! I thought it was sort of cute. Ps- John- lots of water, strictly fruits /veggies in the first few weeks will literally knock a bunch of weight off at once. Later for the training bit/ distance running you’ll need some carbs:) Men lose weight easier than women, sucks but true, so there’s that. And happily- the heavier you are it seems the weight comes off faster in the beginning. You’ll ace it.

  16. Author

    Love love love John. He’s just as awesome in person, and I totally agree with the comments about this post making no sense. It began as a story, and then I got too lazy to finish the story… realizing it was taking too long to get to the point. Just wanted to say, I genuinely appreciate the constructive (not assholey) criticism. Thank you. I’m just happy to share the awesomeness that is The Codling.

  17. The video says (and explains) it all, even if the post was/wasn’t confusing. G’luck to him! With the marathon, the weight loss, and the fundraising.

  18. Wow. Carol wasn’t being rude, she didn’t say anything mean – she simply said, “I don’t understand.” Phil jumps on her and someone wants to “slowly press a screwdriver intos carols ear.” (Uh, think you mean “into.”)

    Danielle hit the nail on the head – sarcastic asshats and “even when promoting a good cause the pretension shines through.”

    Grow up, people.

  19. Phil apologized so I’ll leave it at that, except to say that sometimes, on my first reading of some recent posts (and I expect, understandably, it’s due to the redesign) the photos and videos aren’t there. Not to say that the post is incomplete, the words are all there, but I have read the post and commented, or read the post, then come back later to read the comments and there has been an addition of a photo, or in this case, a video.

    I have been catching the posts pretty soon after first posting b/c I am currently on assignment outside the U.S. so my afternoons and early evenings are the middle of the night/early morning back in the states. And Stephanie has been timing her posts rather early (5 a.m. central, I’d guesstimate) so I have seen this happen. So, in Carol’s defense, as to the video explaining it all, well, yes it does, but it may not have been there when she first read the post. So I don’t think she deserves to have a screwdriver jammed into her ear.

    Just to drive the point home, the first time I read the post about the fish and raison meal Stephanie prepared for her kids, there was no photo at all. I came back later and there was a photo. I came back the next day (regular reader) and there was a lightbox, pop out, menu feature. So it’s not as if Carol is as much of an idiot as you “the video explains it all” people are trying to make her out to be.

  20. I don’t think it should really matter whether the video was available or not – the rudeness and screwdriver comment is just classless. God forbid someone doesn’t understand something, among all the intellectuals (writer & readers) on this site who understand it all. (**please note sarcasm.)

  21. to all posting on here

    steph…..thanks for writing about this i really appreciate it…… thank you all for your nice comments……..if you could all put that energy into donating some money that would be even better…….


  22. An excellent cause and admirable way to help benefit it. Best of luck, John. I’m sure you’ll meet with much success as you have two great reasons motivating you. Sending a donation today.

    My only random observation, on society, not you or Stephanie, is that while I laughed my ass off at your ridiculous outfit and fountain cool off, I realized that if you were a 300lb woman, the humor would be less present. Clearly I can’t shake my Smith education.

    Anyway, go get ’em and Stephanie, thanks for sharing this!

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