I am happiest when my apartment isn’t just clean; it’s resplendent.  Drinking glasses are turned over in a uniform band behind closed cabinet doors.  The dishwasher is empty.  The pillows on my bed are plump and dent-free.  My sheets are crisp and pulled taught.  Lemon polished wood and Murphy’s Oil Soap. White bars of soap in my drawers.  I have fresh grapefruit juice in the fridge.  The swish of the privacy curtains near the tiffany vase with flowers brought just for me.

Right now, my apartment looks like picnic grounds and smells of urine.  It’s no wonder I can’t sleep.



  1. Sometimes taking control of the elements of ones life that one can immediately get their hands on, can help one better focus on the happiness that seems to elude them.

    Dancing around with a Swiffer mop in my socks and boxers in the kitchen always seemed to put a smile on my face…and that of the people undoubtedly peeking into my loft from across the street as well. ;)


  2. Ditto. I can't relax unless my apartment is sparkling clean all over. And all of my placemats are placed at perfect right angles on my dining room table.

    It's an illness. I know.

  3. at the risk of shrinking you out, maybe a
    dazzling apartment is more an evidence of a happy mind than its cause? because when one's feeling low it is hard to buy flowers for oneself…

  4. Much respect to the Swiffer. If the Swiffer were a razor it would be the Mach 3 or Turbo 4 or whatever they have now. The iPod is a nice invention and I quite fancy velcro shoes but the Swiffer is quality. All praise due.

    "Hate no one but love only a few"

  5. I love a clean place. Your discriptions are some of the same things that bring me complete happiness. However, I would have to add: tiny vases of fresh lavendar, fresh green apples in an oversized bowl in the kitchin and bubble baths in a clean bleached white bathtub.

    Clean up soon so you can find a bit of contentment! It's amazing how much of a difference the small tasks make in our moods.

    Enjoy your weekend!

  6. When everything is cleaned up in my apartment I also need some fresh milk in my fridge.

    Greets from Germany, Steph!

  7. Its called OCD. Guys counter OCD by being lazy…thats why our apartments are not minty fresh. I have OCD…how many people can sit in front of a CPU for 2 hrs, waiting for their turn in line in a "virtual waiting room" for Redsox tickets. What the hell is a virtual waiting room anyway?

    Avid reader of your columns, second time poster…good stuff.

  8. My apartment is a mess when I'm depressed, it's always like that – when I feel like lying on the sofa and crying, I'm too lazy to cook, to clean, even to eat. I just smoke a lot.

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