some whine with that

Dip_1 View the photos from Australia Day Harvest Festival at Gotham Hall >>

I needed to get out.  I needed, apparently, to drink.  I was expecting Sauvignon Blanc until I realized that was New Zealand.  That sucks.  I was all about the Shiraz last night.  I met some lovely people, including a guy who was all too polite (not "happy") to carry my handbag for me while I photographed.  I assume he’d make a wonderful husband.  He’d be the guy in the chair at Lohmen’s Department Store muttering with the heavy handbag heating his lap.  Here’s my official embarrassing thank you to him.

After the wine tasting, I split and took a bunch of men to bed.   Then I went home, drunk emailed, and made out with the dog.  Story of my life.



  1. "Hey Bill, its Kyle. "

    "Hey Kyle, how are ya?"

    "I'm doing well. I met a nice girl last week. We went out for dinner the other night, and I'm bringing her to the Friday night soiree so you'll get to meet and greet her. So far, we're into one another. Her name is Stephanie Klein. "

    "Wonderful, can't wait..see you then"

    …next day…

    "Kyle, its Bill."

    "Hey Bill."

    "Listen Kyle..this Stephanie girl..does she have red hair,and her own website?"

    "Yea..she talked about it, but I haven't looked at it yet..been too busy, why?"

    "Well, maybe you should 'look before you leap."

    "Ok, will do, but why."

    "You'll see. Check it out and get back to me"

    ..30 minutes pass by…

    "Bill, its Kyle. Man were you right. I'll call her and cancel my plans with her. She prob. has no idea what T.M.I. means"

    "Yea..good move…at first i thought it was a joke, but after reading on and on and on, I thought i should tell you. I mean like, what's this girl thinking? She does a great job of turning you off, rather quickly at that."

    "Thanks for lookin' out pal. I owe you one."

    "Any time"

  2. Kyle, you need to get out more. Live a little.

    Steph, your blog is a great tool to weed out all of the overly sensitive, high maintenance, hyperconscientious, overly critical, OCD, whiney men out there (without having to drop the anvil).

  3. "Hey Bill, It's Kyle."

    "Hey there sweetie! We still on for Probe on Sunday?"

    "You betcha stud! I'll be tied up until then though. Im going to spend the rest of the week workin on my book "Men are from Venus, Women are from Venus", and I promised to hang out one night with this gal I met last week. Her name's Stephanie Klein and she's so incredibly beautiful, with firey red hair, and the most engaging eyes. I can tell she's experienced alot in life, and I love the woman she is because of it. There's just something about her that intrigues the few shreds of dignity, and heterosexuality I still cling to."

    "You whore! I'm surprised a shallow jackass like yourself finds her attractive beyond her physical attributes. But, I suppose you have to get it out of your system sometime. Just be sure to wear your assless leather chaps on Sunday, or we wont match. I'd hate to stand out! Bye!"

    …next day…

    "Kyle, its Bill."

    "Hey precious! Gettin' my anal beads polished up for Sunday! What's up?"

    "Listen Kyle..this Stephanie girl you talked about..does she have her own website?"

    "Yea..she talked about it, but I haven't looked at it yet..been too busy, why?"

    "Well, maybe you should look before you leap."

    "Ok, will do sexy pooh, but why?"

    "You'll see. Check it out and get back to me"

    ..30 minutes pass by…

    "Bill, its Kyle. Man were you right. I'll call her and cancel my plans with her. I read some of her stuff and she's ten times the writer I'll ever be. Hell, she makes my work look like a 6th grade creative writing project. She's completely honest, and her character is almost flawless. She'd read me for the useless prick queen that I am in no time. Im not risking my fragile, almost non-existant self-esteem on one more date with her."

    "Good to hear Kyle. I'd hate to see you in tears again, and have to rock you to sleep like last month when your sister mistakenly called your Louis Vitton handbag a 'knockoff'."

    "Dude, im tellin ya IT'S NOT A KNOCKOFF, I swear!"

    "Easy girl! I know! Deep breaths…it's all going to be ok."


  4. guys like that are assholes. sorry, but life is too short to deal with self-righteousness.

    SK has owned her writing, her reason for doing it, and has no reason to be belittled for it.

    maybe i just don't believe in "TMI"; afterall, how else do we learn about each other and ourselves?

  5. yea right stephanie, you don't give a shit? surrrrrrrrrreee. you're obsessed with finding a man and i feel badly for you that don't realize that things gross things you post are a major turn-off. you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself. one day, when you're 46, single, you'll wonder if posting that you like to blow dudes in the back of cabs was really worth it. and for the rest of you guys kissing her ass and trying to get on her, how's that working for ya? has she given ya any? i doubt it.

  6. A couple of cocktails with a gal way out of your league…50 dollars

    Realizing that you are too immature and shallow to have a real relationship with an open, honest, intelligent woman…1000's of dollars in psychiatrist visits

    Further realizing that after dozens of failed attempts, perhaps women just aren't your bag…$40,000 wedding, plus half your assets in the following divorce.

    A supposed adult using an outdated, juvenile song reference from a has-been, wannabe 90's rapper…Priceless

    Snarky shots taken at the truly talented in their blog comments salve the ego's of the truly delusional; for everyone else, there's therapy.

  7. ps. they aren't tarts they are pies.
    I spent a year in Sydney and I can attest to the difference

  8. I'd imagine it's his loss and not hers, honestly. Besides, if you censor your writing, what's the point? One of the things that draws people to this site in particular is that SK writes about whatever she likes.

    Maybe Kyle will find a nice Amish girl to marry who has never heard of blowjobs and has zero passion for anything other than God.

  9. Just want to say that Kyle is a douchebag. A dipshit too – but mainly, he's a douchebag.

    Look at me I'm a girl and I am using potty language!!Naughty, naughty bad girl – now I will never catch a man.

    He's definitely the one that will end up a sad old weiner someday. With loose skin and old balls. GROSS!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.