finding the one

They need to shut the fcuk up. Whomever “they” are, those people who tell you, “You’ll know it when you find it.” I can tell you this much: I sure as shit didn’t feel that way about love. It took me 20 dates before I even considered myself dating my now-husband. I didn’t “know it.” At all. Now, people sell me this same business when it comes to finding a home to buy. “You’ll both know as soon as you see it.” Hi, have you met my husband? No chance in hell. I hope “they” are right, but they don’t have a good track record. I’m totally depressed.

I’m also not too picky for my own good. No one is perfect, and neither is any house. I get that. If I can’t have a 2-car garage, just one, fine. Not fine, but if everything else hits the list, then, car ice pick, here I come. But, lord, what you get for your money in any top school district makes me want to eat out my fridge, in the dark. Depressed, capital D.

“Don’t worry, you’ll find something.” At least no one is saying, “You’ll find it when you stop looking for it,” the way they do with matters of the heart. Now, they tell me it’s all about seeing a ton of pigs decked out in lipstick before I find a hog to call home. Control-alt-D. Big time D.

Totally Related: To Be Honest: Hair, Home, and Hips
School District Killing Creativity



  1. Author

    How awesome is it when you show up at a gorgeous updated home only to realize it’s situated between two power line towers? Not happening. I will forevermore check google maps for power towers and double-yellow line roads.

  2. My only tip is love the neighborhood, if possible. I felt comfortable and at home driving into our neighborhood for the first time and this hasn’t changed. The home needs work and will continue to need it until the kids are older, but it is our home. Good luck!

    1. Author

      I think this makes sense. I think I’d rather be the shittiest house on the block in a beautiful neighborhood than the nicest home on the street… where people park their boats or cars on their lawns… mmm, no thanks. Sorry, new construction.

  3. Well, if it doesn’t have to be Long Island, we have tons of your LI & Westchester transplants in my town. It’s not easy to get a house here because apparently the NY people are finding it a priority to move here. They’re taking anything that comes on the market within days.

    Hope you find something!

  4. …and railroad tracks, and firehouse stations, and airport landing paths, and cemeteries, although I don’t think I’d mind living next to a cemetery.

    For me, finding a house is as much about the neighborhood and location. I can ALWAYS compromise or redesign a kitchen layout, but not if there are railroad tracks 100 feet from the back of the house or if the neighborhood and the people living in it are a hot mess. I’d give up the PERFECT house if it wasn’t where I wanted it to be, which is usually what happens. :-)

    Good luck!

    1. Author

      Ugh, it’s too true. I’ll find a somewhat promising home (by no means perfect) then look at google maps only to see it’s in a shoddy neighborhood. Or between power line towers!

  5. Are you only looking on the North Shore? If you are open to the S Shore, maybe you want to look at RVC and Lynbrook. Both very good school districts. I also think a much better balance when it comes to wealth.

    I grew up in that area, having moved from Roslyn. Much nicer people in general IMO.

  6. This was me for over a year – although I was working with a great agent who wouldn’t even let me look at any of the houses that had what she called “environmentals.” My advice is, if you have not already done so, establish a relationship with a powerhouse agent in the community in which you want to find a house. Ours actually called me the night before a hot property was going to be listed and said “meet me at at 5 PM” and then strong-armed us in there before the listing was up – we offered, they accepted, and boom – done. If it were not for her we’d have never gotten in.

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