Almost all of my holiday shopping has happened online. That is, it would’ve happened online, if most everything weren’t out of stock. Here’s a thing of beauty, though, say it with me: Price Match Guarantee. I print like there’s no such thing as ink, here at home. I comparison shop online, find the very cheapest price, take a screenshot, hit print. Here’s the rub: often ToysRUs.com will sell something for $29.99, to stay competitive online, then in the store, it’s marked up to $43.99. ARE YOU HIGH? And people will pay it. I am not one of those people. I walk in prepared. Not with a mallet to club slow people or anything, not with water–because aren’t we always parched?–but I’m damn certain armed with prices. So, I pick up the sew cool machine, and instead of paying $43.99, I pay $29.99.  Yuh. It’s a big difference. On everything. It’s amazing. I can’t believe more people don’t do it.

I keep my holiday spirit in my back pocket. You KNOW you’re going to want to staple a kid by his forehead in all of 8 minutes by the time someone has stolen your parking spot and your shopping cart and you’ve even made your way into the store, so, you’ve got to come to play. And for me, that means bringing some Stevie Wonder via my earbuds, some Carole King Beautiful (the Musical Soundtrack), and having some dance moves at the ready. Oh, yes.

Most stores and malls have… What’s that you say? Streaming what? Oh, hi. Wi-fi. I’m watching a Netflix MOVIE on your long ass line. Oh, boo. No wi-fi? Well, in my mind, standing in your long ass lines, I’m busting out with the “I like to move it, move it,” roundhouse moves. And sometimes, I bust some. I do. Genuinely. Because the customer service line at Toys R Us is about as fast-paced as an underwater DMV. And do you ladies know who has streaming Wi-fi? Sephora. So drag your kids with you. No one will want to staple them if you hand them an i-something and play them some Netflix by way of King Julien… sound the trumpets.

Tomorrow night, as a great Hanukkah surprise, we’re taking the kids into Manhattan for the premiere showing of the Netflix Original Series, All Hail King Julien! Get a sneak peek at the all-new Netflix original All Hail King Julien, which premieres tomorrow, Dec. 19! The first five episodes of All Hail King Julien start streaming tomorrow.

Gear up for the holidays with King Julien’s friends from Madagascar…

1. Madly Madagascar
2. Merry Madagascar
3. The Madagascar Penguins: A Christmas Caper

And for teens and parents…

1. Love Actually
2. The Office: S02E10 Christmas Party
3. Christmas with the Kranks
4. Arrested Development: S02E06 Afternoon Delight