Because really, this is what happens when you grow up and have children. You no longer have the luxury of shopping with friends. It’s rare, and it used to be a given. Weekends were spent weaving in and out of boutiques, mostly browsing, but definitely bonding. Talking in relationship redux while commenting on lipstick shades. Now, we resort to text messages, where I stand naked-ish in a fitting room awaiting a reply.

When did shopping stop being a group activity? When we’re young, we have our mothers, next our friends. Eventually a boyfriend who slips into the fitting room mostly to grab a handful and eyeful, hoping to entice you to “do it” quiet-like. Then the saleswoman asks if you need another size, and with him flashing you now, you ask her for something bigger, enjoying the irony. Soon, we’ll rely on our kids and buy anything that might be included on a colorful cereal box—anything loud, graphic, or sparkly.

And, yes. With regard to the photos below, those are BAGS, not of the shopping variety. I was running on empty, and if I were the praying type, I’d get down on both knees and beg that I get some decent sleep and even better creams.

My girl texting conversation below:

STEPHANIE: LeighaLove, with what do I wear such Kardashian pants? It’s not as easy as you’d think! How about this? And FYI, they are olive green pants. Leopard belt, black thin blouse, brown shoe.

J Brand Cargo Pants with Zippers

LEIGHA: ummm holy shit skinny girl! i love it! Such a a cute combo. I gotta go to nordies rack and see if they have those at my store.
STEPHANIE: Okay, what about this? Way too cougar trying way too hard, right? Yay or no way?

Sky (Think Housewives of Cougartown County)

LEIGHA: No way Jose! Love the color but not the style of dress, specifically the butt thigh band. I would pass.

STEPHANIE: Shoulder pads?? Buy?

LEIGHA: Hmm, it’s interesting. Nice little waist btw ;)
LEIGHA: I think I’d be for it as a dress, but I’m undecided as a shirt.
STEPHANIE: It’s $10
LEIGHA: Might as well then!
STEPHANIE: Though I’d have to spend a fortune getting 2 hairdos if I wear as dress…

STEPHANIE: Way too short. Not a chance!
LEIGHA: Just a few inches. What’s the blue tank there?
STEPHANIE: Getting that blue Rebecs Taylor tank. [shown way below, once I’m home]
STEPHANIE: To wear with jean short?
LEIGHA: Totes
STEPHANIE: Really?
LEIGHA: As in ‘yes,’ good w shorts, or over bathing suit

STEPHANIE: Ignore tank underneath
LEIGHA: I like that

STEPHANIE: Green
LEIGHA: Pretty! I like the neckline and waist. How much?
STEPHANIE: 60 beans

LEIGHA: Are we in danger of your boob popping out
STEPHANIE: Yuh
LEIGHA: I love the long green dress. Just have to say again.

LEIGHA: I enjoy that
LEIGHA: I have a Rachel Roy kinda like that. I wore out when you were here
LEIGHA: Maybe pop an orange, turquoise, or studded belt on that.




STEPHANIE: YO! WTF?
…
[ INSERT 28 MINUTES HERE, WHERE I REFUSE TO LEAVE THE STORE, WAITING + WAITING] …
LEIGHA: I was on hike. Lots of pics to look over, shit!!!
LEIGHA: Skirt and tank r cute
LEIGHA: Brown shirt dress looks comfy and like you
LEIGHA: Brown, blue and pink dress are all so-so for me.
LEIGHA: Orange floral is pretty, good for a wedding. U look great in it but I’m not obsessed
LEIGHA: My faves are long maxi. Blue print short dress and skirt combo.
LEIGHA: Ew to that green sequin tank thing
STEPHANIE: Ha, ok. Blue tie dye dress? Tealish skirt/ strapless thing? Eh
LEIGHA: Cute to tie dye. I’m on fence about strapless thing
STEPHANIE: Then I will pass. That shit always gives me flapjacks.
STEPHANIE: So, no to this?

LEIGHA: Fence. Your call.
STEPHANIE: YES! It’s so so light.
LEIGHA: It has pockets and would be a good day dress. Do u have anything like it?
LEIGHA: Get it girl. You’re sassy!

STEPHANIE: $545 later…
STEPHANIE: Now, what, oh what, to return?
STEPHANIE: ooh, here’s top I didn’t show you


LEIGHA: Classy and fun, could even belt it.
STEPHANIE: What would I do without you? I’d have more money, for sure. Though I’d walk around with sandbag ass and sequins, so my bumps thank you.

[ FYI: I did NOT buy the shoulderpad top, the blue tranny dress, either of the tie dye ensembles, nor the flapjack boob killer skirt/dress. Said no to the orange flowers, the gray stripes, and I’m now returning the green maxi dress because Phil says I look like I’m in the army. “What can I say? I’m just not into camo.” Keeping the sequin off the shoulder sweater, the bright blue patterned dress, the very light splashy dress, the very last blue tank (shown with cream pant). Then I made the mistake of “just looking” through the shoe department, and snatched up the softest leather golden ballet flats with a chunk of sparkle on the toe. Ah, to waste time and play while the husband’s away. Girl bliss.] Now there’s packing to be done and even more girls to start missing! I know NO ONE in Florida (ya, know, aside from my mother, 45 minutes north, and my sissy, 3 hours away).

I’m sad to be leaving, but I’m also excited for the new. Making the most of the mixed.