reality show super moms

This beauty arrived in my inbox this morning, damn near screaming at me: NATIONWIDE SEARCH NOW UNDERWAY FOR ACTIVE TEXAS MOMS.

“When a party needs to be thrown, hers is an extravagant affair. Time to decorate for the holidays? Her lights are brightest, her garniture is couture. If a friend needs advice, she tells it like it is, and when there is a dispute in the neighborhood, residents yield to her verdict. She is a voice in the community, recognized at the salon, revered by her child’s teachers for her participation in the classroom (and for never, ever sending a box of cookies for the class party, but rather, gourmet treats that are lavishly adorned.) She keeps herself involved in her child’s affairs, hosts hobby night for her social circle, and has a point of view. A woman who believes that second place is not an option. She strives for the perfect life, and stops at nothing to achieve it. It’s hard to believe that women like this exist – but a Los Angeles based production company believes they are out there, and wants them to star in their very own series.

A nationwide search is currently underway for the perfect Mom – outgoing, multi-tasking “Super Moms” who demand the best from their children, families, friends, and themselves, all without ever having a hair out of place. Women who enjoy being involved, whose schedules are packed from morning to night, and who take pride in their children, their home, their accomplishments, and their appearance are encouraged to apply.

For these smart, independent, ‘top dog’ Moms who do it all, and thrive in what some would consider a permanent whirlwind of activity; this could be the chance of a lifetime.”

I hope the chance to which they’re referring is a glimpse into what they’re burying, what emotions they’re trying to suffocate. I hope it’s a chance to interact with a world-renowned therapist. Take it from me, I’ve been there. I’ve tried, sometimes still try, but that’s enough. I don’t need (or want) to be the voice of the community, am mostly irritated as all fcuk by these women, and want them no where near me. But… the women who manage to send their child to school with gold leaf truffles, in coordinated outfits, with a dessert bar at the birthday, I promise you, something else is missing. Most likely sex. I would know. I can’t remember the last time I had sex. Genuinely. Can’t remember. Think it was drunk in Vegas. Once. And it’s not a blame game or a “look at us,” game. It’s a yawn. It’s a chore. It’s another thing to get done. When my life is packed with to-do’s, I’m never doing “it.” So, take heed, Alpha Moms. Sometimes sloppy is the way to go.



  1. Oh Look. Hollywood is trying to find yet another way to make the vast majority of normal women feel inadequate by pretending that they should make this life their ideal.

    I can’t imagine why anyone would think that these things mean something important. Raising decent, loved, loving kids is important. The energy spent in doing all of the things they list would certainly be at the expense of their family and eventually at their own expense.

    Its not normal and I hate that Hollywood will try to make it into normal by pretending that this reality show is real.

  2. All those years when I was married – always trying to be the most perfect, the most together, the most ideal. I have 3 separate sets of china – for 3 separate and distinct holidays. I have linen napkins and trunks and trunks of holiday decor. Somewhere in my terrifying laundry room, I have wreaths for each month of the year that would adorn my front door. The perfect cars. The perfect home. The perfect children. The perfect gardens. The perfect meals. The perfect celebrations. God, it makes my skin crawl to remember how it felt to be so damned perfect on the outside and so damned broken on the inside.

    It’s now been 11 years that I have avoided my 3 sets of china. I haven’t broken out the real silver in at least 5. My wreath collection is probably now all Halloween-ish (covered in spider webs). And you know what? Life is sooooo much more lovely being imperfect on the outside and being whole, content and blissfully content on the inside.

  3. Thanks Stephanie – great post, exactly what I needed to hear as the holidays start rolling!

  4. Chance of a lifetime? what the shit?
    It’s almost like they are setting the women up to fail. Compete, drive themselves insane and then ultimately fail.
    That’s it, Hollywood, reach down in that oh-so-shallow barrel of wealthy mamas whose money buys them this so called perfect life. Give me a break.

    and i love this: “and has a point of view”
    Doesn’t everyone?

  5. Heehee! Thanks for that– I am trying not to feel guilty about how lame our Thanksgiving will be this year. I tend to the type-A overboard, at least when planning, but I can’t kid myself this year: winter weather + vicious asthma and I’m trying to stave off pneumonia. Again. At least my kids are only 1 and 3, and they eat like epileptics anyway. I know no matter what I cook or how much effort I expend, it’s going to be on the floor soon enough.

    Also, I won’t even try to segue, but 2 more things to mention:
    Apparently flax seeds, soaked in water, make great hair gel for curly hair. (Haven’t tried yet, so nothing to report.)
    If you’re still tweaking your menu, purple sweet potatoes are both Thanksgiving-y and purple! (They grow them here in NC, and also can be found at Asian markets, apparently.)

  6. This show might be deliciously good. They’ll pick these “perfect” moms apart, find their vulnerabilities, and showcase them for all of America to enjoy. We will watch these “pillars of the community” crumble. We’ll see what’s behind their masks, which will is probably their worst nightmare. It will be sad. It will be another train wreck that we can’t stand to watch and can’t stand to not watch. That’s why I watch “Intervention” and “Hoarder” on A&E. I wish they didn’t make me feel better about my own life, but they do. They remind me to be grateful for my life, as imperfect as it is.

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