fashion distraction

what to pack

It’s a distraction, I admit, but I love the “wind up” to events just as much, if not more, than the actual event. I love the idea of labeling hangers in my closet, each with a marked day/night of the week, an assigned outfit, coordinating undergarments and jewels. I like order, despite being something of a hot mess.

Mandarin Oriental Tea Lounge

With regard to my upcoming jaunt to Las Vegas, I’m trying to get up to speed on Craps, hoping to embolden my wardrobe with some new accessories (including a naked gloss + nude platform heels), and working to make all our reservations in advance. In particular, I’m looking to fit in High Tea at the Mandarin Oriental. I’m wild about High Tea. I want to make out with it. Soft white bread sticking to the roof of your mouth, then the cool collapse of chive-spiked egg salad, awash with silver-needled Jasmine tea. Rose petal jam. Warmed buttered scones. Mini this, diminutive that. Each temptingly tasty food jewel is like a sweet kiss. By way of dainty crustless sandwiches, wars would end if there were mandatory Devonshire cream outings. I will bring a book and go it alone.

But what to pack, that is the question. After pawing my way through the October issue of InSyle magazine, I feel compelled to go shopping in my own closet. Nothing featured on the glossy pages actually matches. Polka dot skirts paired with leopard print flats, a striped hoodie, and brass chains. I’ll have better luck finding a fashion-forward ensemble if I rope Beckett + Abigail into the mix, insisting they pull items at whim. A woman at my country club owns a separate “Vegas wardrobe.” She also drinks too much and tries to rub up against me.

I’m tempted to hit up Zara and Forever 21 for throw-away trend items. If only my Los Angeles stylist Leigha were here. Oooh! I have an idea. I’m going to send her to some sites for “pulls.” I will then update and compile the Look Book here!


I will find a fun flirty cheapie dress, for sure. But I couldn’t resist this dress in eggplant. Phil loves me in long dresses, despite the fact that my legs are the only thin bits I’ve got. Speaking of which, I’ve never met a leg man except when it comes to the Thanksgiving platter. They’re all into boobs or ass. There are no leg men.

No, this is not a photo of me. I deserve to have my fat arms; I never lift them.

Wrap Dress
Wrap Dress Back


  1. So true, fashion has no rhyme or reason with regard to print. I think the silhouette is more important. Btw- love “cool collapse…egg salad,” the way you write about food, swoon.

  2. exhausting..

    and I like ‘go to’ instead of ‘hit up’. It just sounds less forced and trying to be hip.

  3. I like everything, but the last one is too 70s and would just drown you. Have fun!

  4. Stephanie, what is the name of the font you used in the tags picture (Saturday Night, Airplane Clothes) you used for this “Fashion Distraction” post? I love it!

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