loving your pet: where do you cross the line?

In ALL, FOOD LOVE by Stephanie Klein23 Comments

Linus Drawing
(I drew this portrait of Linus with a #2 Pencil, and NO, it’s not a Photoshop filter)

I don’t normally have eating days, but sometimes the day calls for it. I don’t necessarily eat everything I order, though I do eat a bit of everything that arrives. Tonight I ordered a cheeseburger deluxe, medium rare, with well-done fries. I have to tell the Greek to leave the lid open, so the fries don’t steam in the container. I’m not done. A chicken souvlaki pita sandwich, mainly because I like the cucumber yogurt sauce and the salad. Oh, sure, make that a deluxe too. I’m still not done. A grilled cheese sandwich and an order of onion rings. Cause conduit fries can be boring, even if there is ketchup and mayo for the taking.

I know it’s disgusting. It’s what I do when I’m tired and cranky. I’m exhausted, and soon I’ll be full, in bed, watching Gilmore Girls reruns. The delivery isn’t here yet. Oh relax, I’ll share with Linus… cause it’s his birthday today. He’s three years old, and in his honor, I ordered enough food for three people. I know he’ll get ‘rhea from it, and that’s love. My cleaning up his ‘rhea just so he can enjoy burgers is love.


  1. The cleaning up of 'rea is the purest form of love. I have mopped it myself in the name of dog love and would do it again.

    All those beautiful food descriptions made my stomach grumble, until I started thinking about dog poo.

    Happy Birthday to Linus.

  2. Another nice gift would be taking him out for a walk tonight…preferably after he has his burger so you don't have to clean "it" up later.

    P.S. I definitely wouldn't give him any of the cucumber yogurt sauce…if you do, then you will certainly be showing him a lot of love by cleaning that up too.

  3. Aaah, but you haven't really lived until you've cleaned up 'rea at 2 a.m. from your 3 month old baby (human).

    Stephanie, still want to have one??

  4. Hey ! my birthday is coming up soon. what are you gonna order for me? im gonna be 32 ! hahaha (and i can clean up my own poop)

  5. Today BINGE. Tomorrow PURGE?

    As a Greek Goddess, can you make your own tzatziki sauce? Perhaps your own keftedekia? Maybe we could all come over for dinner before the cookie swap. Yeah, now there's an idea!

    Happy Birthday Line man! Drink some Bacardi like it's your birfday!

  6. You ARE gonna give Linus a chocolate chip cookie for his birthday dessert, aren't you?

  7. Love would be getting up and taking the dog on a walk so he doesnt always have to shit on the floor.

  8. Just because Stephanie puts her life out there for you to comment on, doesn't give you the right to judge and criticize – 'doesntmatter', I'm sure she gives more love to that dog than you could ever imagine, regardless of where he has to shit.

  9. Aaah, Pauline…but once one decides on her own free will to post details (sometimes intimate) on a blog…she has to be able to endure the criticism. But Stephanie knows that…as a writer (or artist or musician) that is the risk we take putting our material out there–otherwise we keep it to ourselves, in our attics/basements/boxes/offices.

    When will people understand that?

  10. Robotnik, I can understand criticism, but not when it comes in the form of hostile judgement is all, that's what it seemed to me.

  11. Pauline, I would expect moronic comments (and I do, since I also have a blog); ANYONE can say anything they want–and most of the time they do. So…I would think moronic monologues are actually de rigueur for blogs.


  12. Our dogs have the same b-days. Daisy was 5 yesterday. She got a new collar w/ rhinestone daisies on it, and I got her a little doggie cake and I let her have some pizza, but not a lot, because I guess I don't love her as much as you love Linus- no that's not it, she doesn't go on wee-wee pads, so the 'rea would have been a problem.
    Hope Linus had a good b-day!

  13. Happy Birthday to Linus! And it was very sweet of you to share all your yummy food with him! That is total love!

  14. This is crazy people! THEY'RE JUST DOGS! Hey, I LOVE pets; I have two cats and a dog–but for God's sakes…they're PETS. All this talk about b-days and rhinestone collars…whew!!

    And they say CAT PEOPLE are nuts.


  15. robotnik-you are in serious need of a fucking life-look how many times you commented-is this all you do is read stephanies blog?And your comments on this post and previous posts are pathetic-go away-you are annoying and we don't care what you think

  16. Haha.. I love how people get so hostile over other people's comments. We're all kind of nerdy for reading blogs in general… lets not single one another out.

  17. I for one have no problem with Robotnik's comments. And based on the fake names for both posts, I'll bet the second one by "unreal" is the same person who said the one of "doesntmatter"…. I could be wrong; it's happened many times. What IS pathetic is making snarky comments and not having the balls to put your own name on them.

  18. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…Stephanie the Great is laughing at all of us…

  19. do yourself and your poor dog a favor…take him for walk for pete's sake! that pooch is cooped up all day doodie'ing all over the place! how bad must your apartment stink!?! ..nothing more attractive than a girl with a stinky apartment…again, don't share this blog with potential male suitors. it can't help ya.

  20. I LOVE how people like "unreal" get all bent out of shape over…A BLOG!

    Let me say this again: A BLOG.

    Can you imagine how this edjit deals with real issues in real life?

    Keep 'em coming Unreal…I love it.

    And, oh yes…I DO like Stephanie's blog. Unlike you, though, I'm lucky enough to have my own business and I work from home–so I have all the time in the world, and no boss to hassle me.

    Nyuk, nyuk…shorty!

    (thanks Kim)

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