Swingers Without Music
So, is it just me, or have you heard that Woodfield CC is full of crazy. I’m thrilled to be there, don’t get me wrong. I love me crazy-long-time. Despite the fact that half of Plainview and almost all of Long Island reside there, I hear it’s full of swingers. Yes, we’re talking (golf cart) key parties. This gonna be crazy, son.
It’s all about respect
You know that once you get going it’s easy. Very easy. But to really start is a fcuking nightmare. So, you say, “I am going to suffer for three days. Period.” And you commit to write down every single thing you eat—no excuse, even if it’s just a SINGLE BITE of something. Because after you’ve respected yourself (that is, kept your word to yourself), you will feel 100% committed. That’s the key. Because then you want to be good. You want to be lean and strong.
Two other things I tell myself:
1. This bite that you love soooo much is going to taste exactly the same the whole way through. So, you can savor this single bite or eat the entire thing, but it will continue to taste the same—what’s the point in that?
2. Do I want to eat you? Gee, do I love the word balls? Thought so. Fact is, I fcuking love you and want to push your babies out of my ladybits. But, sadly, my body thinks you’re a hairy-nut-finding asshole. So, I choose not to go there. This time.
And, yes. I have long potty-mouth discussions with myself.
Liquid Lunch & Liquid In General
I’m going to NORTH in the domain for lunch with Jen (from Savannah).
Also, kids go into the pool today with clothes and shoes on!
School Is Cool, BabyFishMouth
Got all your photos and video. I cannot tell anything about these schools, in spite of the footage, unless I go myself. I also think we should do a tour of a Montessori school (or two–since they are all different). And, no, seeing Montessori schools isn’t a waste, so long as ours aren’t the oldest kids in each of their classes—that is, we’d want our 4-year-old pre-K kiddos mixed in with 5 / 6-year-old kindergarteners.
As for a response to your, “Weren’t you the one who said Montessori for only age 4 was a waste? Not sure what our goal is here or if there really is. Bad choice. JCC may be too far but should check out”…
Our goal is to find a school that feels “right” to us. And yes, that we can afford. I think differently than you do and process things differently. I appreciate your logical thinking, also. Together with my instinctual “knowing/feeling” and your own crisp process, I’m sure we’ll find the perfect school for our string beans. B’nai Israel is one option, despite the super-Jew factor and the prison / parent drop-off only (parents cannot go into the school to pickup their taters? You’re right, we’re so spoiled in Austin!). Also, must take kids fishing!
Code Brown
Swim lessons cancelled today due to CODE BROWN. Yes, it’s what you think it is.
Operation Movie-Hop, Fail
Phil’s gone an entire week, down in Florida, and what do I have to show for it? Did I go boozing it up? No. Make the most of this live music destination? Negativo. Spend the day hopping through movies, in particular BRIDESMAIDS, which I’m desperate to see? No. I am a horrendous failure. A failure with a clean closet and a few TJ MAX receipts. What, like you don’t need huggable hangers? Pahleeze.
In My 20s In My 30s
That’s right, down 27 lbs. So, shut it about my tub of Rocky Road ice cream. That delectable confection is everyone’s friend. That’s right, so back off, and stop giving me shit every time I make you stop (read: stalk) Baskin’ Robbins.
From Miss to Bliss
I’m sad we’re missing Heather’s wedding. I miss her laugh. And how much she loves babies. She’ll be knocked up soon enough, and now I can’t tell her guppies I witnessed the union of Sir Dork Lord and Miss Wit. I am so happy for her. Or, rather, I’m happy for him, for snagging such a fine fem. Still wish we could’ve made it. Must head to Dallas and offer them copious amounts of hooch before annihilating them in Upwords (Heather gets confused when her Scrabble gets all scrabbled on her).
The Smoke Monster
There is some kind of animal outside our bedroom that sounds like a rattle. It obviously isn’t a rattlesnake because it’s loud, like annoying mockingbird, need a gun, loud. It sounds exactly like the Smoke Monster from LOST. It’s actually kinda comforting now that I think on it. Goodnight, Jacob. Also, I haven’t smoked anything.
To Go Or Not To Go… To Israel
We really need to talk about August and whether or not I’m going to Israel on this StandWithUs “Once in a Lifetime 2.0” project. I’d 100% say yes if we weren’t moving to another state. Still, maybe I should just go. It’s only 10 days, and they’ll take me from the Golan Heights in the north through Haifa, Tel Aviv, and Jerusalem to the Dead Sea. Should I be as worried as I am about safety?
Sent Mail Explosion Ends *Here.*



