save the date

Despite being a writer, I’ve been invited to give a reading.  Publicly.
Get a pen, a Palm, or something useful to jot this down.

7-9 pm
85 East 4th Street (b/w 2nd & 3rd)

“Still decorated with period photographs and Marxist aphorisms, this joint is where boho literati read, perform and swill hooch.”
Boho and hooch.  Right, so me.

Please come support me.  Please? (read: she’s begging again)  There are only two questions left… what do I wear to The East Village, and what do I read in The East Village?



  1. Yes, I will be reading for 20 minutes… something I've written. I just have to decide what to read. Something from my book, a fat camp story, or something from the blog? Hmmm.

  2. Go with the fat camp story! The part about being fat flocked, the part about the REALLY heavy guy dumping someone (in what other teenage world would this guy be the dumper?). Let others into that world! I mean no offense by this, but nothing in your blog and (I assume) your book is THAT unique in the realm of 20 something new yorker lives. After all, you are a 20 something who lives a NY lifestyle. The fat camp story is unique, especially told by someone who does not look like a candidate for fat camp.

  3. I know! The nerve of those fat people. Nobody should dump anyone without first getting permission is what my god-mother taught me. However, I have never dumped anyone and have never asked for permission.

  4. I can see it now: "I'd like to thank my blog friends for being here tonight. No need for them to raise their hands… They'll be easy enough to recognize. They'll be the ones rushing for the EXIT as soon as I finish. Don't be alarmed; it's their training. They're just going home to post their comments."

    You've got some powerful blog stuff to read, but I'd certainly steer clear of 'Anonymous Inconsideration,' despite its near-cult status.

    First there's the ball-grabbing… you'll get a line forming before you're done. (Then again, it might be that kind of night.) Plus, there just might be an angry British woman with a sh*tty car looking to settle a score.

    I'm sure by then you'll find the right piece with the right mix of snark, pathos, and your "She didn't just say what I thought she did, did she??" quality.

    I think this is hitting the calendar!

  5. You have so many options at your disposal and twenty minutes is probably just the perfect amount of time. Ideally, I would think that you would want something that everyone can connect with. No matter what you choose, I am sure you will be great.

  6. I would come and support you but it would be rather hard since I am in New Orleans.

    good luck and love your blog.

  7. SK…choose something YOU like–don't worry about how/what peeps in the audience can connect with. Who cares? You're the writer. It's your shite.

  8. That is so awesome for you…congrats! If I weren't freezing my ass off in FL I'd definitely be there to cheer you on. One of my favorite entries of yours is "Klein". When something in writing can bring one to tears…that is powerful stuff. Good luck to you Stephanie–you'll kick ass!

  9. Wish I could be there to support you (I'm just wayy too pregnant now). Do know that I'm cheering from over here though :)

  10. Hmmm, indeed. What to read? Your problem certainly isn't a lack of material. I think the answer to your question lies in figuring out what your purpose or goal is? Do you want the audience to laugh, cry, throw stones? 20 minutes of hilarious anecdotes, sob stories? Or would you rather the audience get to know who you are, the real Stephanie? 20 minutes of stories which describe where you came from (past), where you are now (present), and where you wanna be (future). I think such a sample will achieve both goals, getting to know the real you while laughing, crying, and stoning along the way. Good luck, I'm confident you'll make the appropriate choices. To be continued…

  11. My friend read there once – it's actually not as Boho as the rest of the East Village, it's just kind of unique…very cool space for this kind of reading, I think. Good luck!

  12. You mean I might actually get to put a voice to the words in my eyes and my head? It may ruin the perfect intonation and pitch and sultriness I have created. But I am willing to risk it!

  13. Yay, I'm excited! I happened upon your blog two nights ago when googling "rag curls" illustration …don't know why it sent me here, but I'm glad it did, because the five hours I should've spent sleeping before Elfing at Macy's, I spent cracking up. So it's your fault I had to deal with whiny kids all day on no sleep. :-p Thanks for all your amazing stories, I can relate to every single one of them, it's crazy how alike I feel to you and I don't even know you.

    I'll definitely try to make your gig, it'll be awesome seeing what you put together. I'm sure whatever you choose will be great. I'm looking forward to it!

  14. Easy:

    1) Figure out what kind of reaction you'd like to receive from the audience.
    2) Go down there the previous week and watch some other people read. See what kind of reactions they get.
    3) Read something you believe will create a similar reaction.

    My own opinion is to read something really personal – a divorce or abortion story – because it's your best chance to really move people. But that is also the toughest.

  15. Read the nutritional value from a box of Krispy Kreme donuts over and over to the backdrop of Ligeti's Requiem for Soprano.

  16. I think only the spirit of Uncle Jorge's superlative suggestion should be followed because it's too abstract for even bohemians to understand, especially if quite a bit of hooch has been consumed.

    I humbly and respectfully suggest that you share a piece that reflects on a genuine failure as a person. I don't mean how you are too hard on yourself or how ambitious you are. Such expressions may impress an interviewer at the Krispy Kreme outlet store when one is applying for a job as a cashier so that one can augment one's $25 dollar a week childhood allowance. I am writing about a genuine failure. You know, something you are truly embarrassed to share. Something that will cause a few people to treat you as a leper and force you to work at regaining their trust, but many more to extend you more trust than you deserve. Write about how you wish early in life you realized that in a previous life you were a tiger and that acting like a tiger now has brought you more misfortune than good fortune. Anger or being melodramatic is something that we all need to control. The biggest battle in life is self-control, and very often dieting is the easiest form of self-control.

    Share something true or perhaps fictional. Share something about someone offending you and how you used that as an excuse and pretext to destroy the person without any sense of proportion to the offense to which you had been subjected. I don't mean someone cheating on you and getting you pregnant and you writing a blog with his name and picture prominently mentioned and displayed, respectively. That's such an easy judgment call, but I could be mistaken. I mean someone illegitimately but also accidentally and thoughtlessly annoying or offending you in a minor way. You were definitely wronged but your reaction was without proportion. You wouldn't have discovered the wrong without doing something much worse and perhaps even illegal yourself. And after doing the wrong and possibly illegal activity, you become enraged to commit an even greater wrong and possibly an even more egregious illegal activity. However, ultimately, you forgave yourself and the one who wronged you, without waiting for an apology. Alternatively, you came to realize that you need to forgive yourself and the one who wronged you because the one who wronged you apologized first. Maybe the one who wronged you earnestly tried later to be your friend and supporter and that was the form of the 'apology.'

    This is an easy topic to describe but sharing a narrative on such a theme is akin to traversing a literary tightrope across a ravine of tawdry emotions any one of which will cause your listeners–not just those drunk or those suffering from acute attention deficit disorder–to lose interest as they drift off into their own dream world because they can anticipate the remainder of what you will have to share.

  17. I am willing to help you write the story. You can use my name as one of the characters. If I were in town I would be there to support you.

  18. I would never do anything illegal… okay, I'd maybe not cross at the light, but that's the extent of it.

    I once stole flowers from our next door neighbor's garden. When my father saw them in the vase, he asked where I'd gotten them. I knew what I'd done was wrong. He made me RETURN the flowers to our neighbor. I never took anything from anyone again that didn't belong to me.

    I worked in a homeless shelter throughout high school and college, and while there, I heard stories of women who had a full past in Sing Sing. Quite frankly, they scared the shit out of me. I'd never break the law… in part out of fear, but mostly because I wouldn't like myself.

  19. I know you wouldn't! We are talking about a fictional event or a past real event not the future. Reread your "Detende" post but without the reaction associated with it. Jeez. With respect to your "detende" post, 'boss' entered the English language because early Americans resented the English equivalent, "master." Pick up French. You just let go. If you talk too much, it's like you break the magic, the "alchimie"… See it's simple, when an English word has unpleasant connotations replace it with a suitable word from another language and start fresh. Now detendez-vous, assuming all necessary assumptions are valid. Good luck with your reading; I am sure you will enchant them. Throw in a few French words.

  20. I post using my real name and real address but **** shows up. Why? I have no idea. I have considered putting my name and email address in my comment because of that.

    Merci, ****

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