masters of sex

An episode of Masters of Sex aired tonight about a man whose wife had an aneurysm, a stoke. People call her a vegetable, her husband calls her a corpse. He says his life is over, being her caretaker.

I have a pit in my stomach. I am afraid. I realize Phil is on blood thinners, that this helps reduce the risk of stroke, but it still terrorizes me.

I have major anxiety that has surfaced just tonight. Phil has had a constant headache since he has left the hospital. He has been hydrating and trying to rest, though at night he is unable to sleep. That might make two of us tonight.



  1. Sending you lots of hugs. I have been reading your life path for so many years. This is a lot to deal with…you are doing great. Many well wishes to Phil and to you!

  2. Stephanie, my first husband (still quite alive and well, just not right for me) had a heart attack at 40 and we were both so wracked with anxiety after that we really should have been medicated for it. Too many panic attacks, 2AM trips to the ER for what turned out to be nothing medical, etc. Consider anxiety meds, at least in the short term. You both need rest.

  3. I completely understand your anxiety and know there is little that can be said to assuage it. Just writing to say I hope you are taking good care of yourself through this. One day at a time. I’ll keep checking in. :)

  4. Have been reading you throughout the years, and now praying for you and your family.

  5. Sounds like a nightmare! I’m gonna sound like an awful person but if that were to happen you could always take him to a home for a few days a week so you can rest! In the book A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby, one of the characters is a woman whose kid is seriously disabled, and he portrays her in such a funny way you almost don’t feel so sad for her.

  6. I am sorry. I think of you and Phil often, but dont know you well other than theu your books and this blog. Im in TX and remember thinking, ohmygosh we’re practically neighbors I should offer help! Now you are far away, and I again wish I could offer help. So- prayers again….still….
    Health and healing and protection and peace.

  7. Dear Stephanie,
    I just wanted to say I hope that Phil is much better and that he is improving every day. I am on that same type of medicine that he was on – so gosh, I am really shocked that he had a stroke. I hope he is AOK now. Take care of yourself too.

  8. Thinking of you guys and wishing for an update. I have been sending well wishes and praying since I first read of Phil’s stroke. Blessings, Stephanie.

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