Yesterday I had a thyroid ultrasound, and the technician spent at least twenty minutes going over and over the left side of my neck, lymph nodes I believe. My lip is starting to prickle, and the back of my brain is starting to feel cold just thinking of it. I’m breaking into an anxiety sweat. Back over to the right side for comparison, awesome. Then a “renal ultrasound” to see if my adrenaline has anything to do with my premature menopause state. “She’s just not efficient or good at her job,” my sister texted. “It’s not you. She’s just trying to get the right images.” This makes me feel mildly better. Mildly.

Awaiting blood (and urine) test results makes me dizzy. I just phoned my new GP’s office, and they confirmed that all the results were received, so they’d have the doctor phone me to discuss them. Now, I am awaiting his phone call, wondering what it was he tested in the first place.

Big deal if your doctor tells you you’re vitamin D deficient or that you have higher cholesterol than he’d like to see. I’m curious to hear what my blood sugar levels were, since I’ve cut out all grains and sugars, aside from those found naturally in fruit. But what else will we learn?

No doubt he’ll phone me when I’m in my car, with the kids, picking them up from an after-school activity. I won’t want to call him back, and I’ll want to take notes. It’s too cold to stand outside because it’s 14 degrees. Oh, the nerve & nerves! Still, what can he tell me that’s so bad? It’s not like he’s testing for something that will change my life significantly. It’s just your regular checkup blood work. Metabolic panel. Not even testing for hormones!

I need to remember that any results are DATA, and information is a good thing. Right? Still, I keep thinking of my urine, dehydrated, like syrup. What? They told me to fast for 8 hours, and despite being told I could drink water, I still full-on Yom Kippur fast, no water. Then, I think, “Protein in the urine,” because maybe once in my life someone said that to me. My goodness, I need a glass of wine, and yeah, please note, the whole bottle is made of glass.

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UPDATE: No news is good news. Posting the details in the comments, but basically everything was normal. Which means I have nothing on which to blame my weight and vagina. Thyroid normal, adrenal glands normal. Hair is thinning, which must have something to do with my very low testosterone of 15!