3 things your ass needs to know (aside from your elbow)

It seems like such obvious advice that it needn’t be given. Yet, lately I’ve been talking on repeat to many a woman (more than three). These are the three things I’ve been saying:

My Lord, I’ve said it over and over; I’ve lived it, and faced it myself. If you don’t see a future with him, why spend any of your time with him? Why do you stay? Because you’re letting fear govern your life. Because it strokes your ego, or comforts you, it’s familiar and easy, and it feels good now. And aren’t we supposed to live in the now? No. Not when we know in our gut that there’s no future. And here’s the very worst of it. You’re hoping to set your sights on the next crush or possibility, to avoid truly being on your own without a promise or a likely position. Riding out the relationship as you set up a new one. YOU’RE ON THE WRONG FCUKING BUS, and it’s going nowhere. What’s more…

The universe won’t grant you all that you deserve until you prove to it that you’ve learned your lesson and that you’re ready now! When you dick around, the universe is all, “F’ that. We’re not wasting the good one on you when you don’t LIVE the way you know you should.” Mind you “the one” may be substituted with any other life you’re waiting to have. You stay with this wrong one “until” … until someone better comes along, until after your next vacation together, until the fall, until I’m settled in my new job. Until my therapist tells me it’s okay. “Until” is your undoing. So, no. There’s no, “I’ll do this until the right one comes.” More like, you won’t get all you want UNTIL you prove that you’re ready to receive it. Doing all the hard things, the shite you know you should do but don’t do because you’re lazy or needy, is when the hard stops arrive, when the universe can put on the brakes and direct you to the path you’re truly meant to be living. But you won’t get shit (or more accurately, that’s all you’ll get) until you face, confront, and follow through your shit.

If you try baby steps and all kinds of paths to avoid the swirl of hurt (lining up the next guy before ending things with the guy you’re with now) it’ll take you THAT MUCH LONGER to get to the other side of the tornado. Take the most direct path, face it. Now tack this one on and say it on repeat: “The only way out is through.” Stop trying to get around it.

Brought to you courtesy of Straight Up And Dirty, more or less.



  1. From the title, I thought this would be a post literally about what our asses need to know. I was intrigued.

  2. I thought it was going to be about tweens/teens and their too skimpy shorts/bathing suits. Maybe it’s just me that has become a prude or old.

    But I loved this post. I feel like I know so many people who NEED to see it.

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