Once upon a time ago, I had a stalker. I had to go to the police. He was flooding my inbox and then found my unlisted phone number and began to call me at home, tell me he knew where I lived. I couldn’t sleep. I called my friend Chris, freaking out. Genuinely frightened because this stalker man was smart and delusional. He insisted that I was writing my blog posts in code, sending him secret messages. Of one post about Museum and Zoo dates, he expressed his concern, that I would pay for what I’d done. Rambled on, then I realized that he believed I’d sent a snake to him at his office. Coo coo. Coo coo. Chris told me to get used to it, that the more popular I became, the more loved, and the more hated I’d be. That sentiment has clung to me, as many of my moments with Chris have. I can’t wait to hang out with him again in New York!

I was just cleaning out some space in my email account, and I have a folder with this stalker man’s name on it, filled with a bunch (102) of emails from him. Some unread, having filtered them straight to the folder, so I’d have a record if needed, but I wouldn’t have to see them in my inbox. I opened one just now. He accuses me of hacking into his computer and erasing all the email communications he’d had with me. And his emails are LOOOONNNNGGGG about everything from the age in which he lost his virginity to his summer in Greece to how I’d better not mess with an Arab. I won’t post any of the content here. What’s the law about that anyway? Can you publicly post the content from a private email? I imagine you can.

He emailed me for three years, but I continued to ignore him. I just googled him, a few years later, and here’s what I saw…

HEADLINE: Fairfax man accused of threatening Obama pleads insanity

Wow. Just wow. What can I say? I guess I’m in good company. Jesus.