clues for the clueless

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This time change thing is a bitch. I’m pretty sure I’ve never said this before because I can’t remember ever feeling it. Sure, when it’s black out at 5:30pm, I felt it, but waking never felt like this. It might have to do with my wee addiction to iPad/iPhone puzzle adventure games. The past few nights, I haven’t gone to sleep before 3am.

I’ve been known to do this. When I worked in advertising, in 1997, I once called in sick because I’d been up all night, into the daylight of morning, playing Playstation’s Final Fantasy, another puzzle solving, I can’t stop, this is crack laced with powdered sugar laced with lottery tickets, game. This week, my nerdly dependencies were twofold: 1) Dream Chronicles – The Book of Air by PlayFirst; 2) Jules Verne Return to Mysterious Island.

First let me begin with this tidbit, which dates back further in my nerdom history, launching us back in 1996, when instead of attending a keg party, I was stowed away in my dorm room playing Myst, solving it, over the course of a weekend, leaving only to defecate. I’d pee in a cup.

No. Not really. I left to pay the delivery guy down in the lobby. That was it. Then, years later, after Final Fantasy, within my first four years working at Juno Online Services, Faith Chang got me enslaved to Riven, by the creators of Myst. If you haven’t played either of these games, I suggest you begin with Myst.

Let me put it this way. If you liked the television series LOST, you will want to have crack cocaine babies with Myst and Riven. I would write more about this problem solving obsession of mine, but I have the issue of children. Both of whom are at school, waiting for me to collect them. I’m fighting every instinct to nab them up and race home to continue to play Jules Verne Return to Mysterious Island. In lieu of this, I will buy sushi and bring cups for water, a blanket, watercolors, brushes and watercolor paper. We will zip over to Morikami Japanese gardens, where we’ll picnic over sushi after painting from the landscape. Though, no doubt, I will be looking for hidden clues where they don’t exist.

Then I will race home to mock The Bachelor, drink wine, and eat red velvet cake from Cheesecake Factory. Because if you’re going to spend all day playing video games, you’d better be fat, too.

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