I have to write it all down before I get there. Because once I’m in that room, I suddenly forget why I’m there. “Just give me a sec,” I say, trying to click my way to some saved list on my iPhone. “Stupid thing.” So, this time, I’m heading to the dermatologist with a paper list in hand.

Thinning hair. Top of my list. Receding hairline. Tons of hair loss always, since forever. Since long before pregnancy. But I couldn’t ever tell what was normal, considering I have such long hair. Maybe it just looks like a lot, you know, all wound up like a ball of yarn. But when I look in the mirror in a certain light, I swear I can see my scalp in a bald kind of way… like, I don’t have to try all that hard to “imagine” what I might look like bald. I know there are shampoos that help prevent hair from falling out, don’t regrow new hair, but slow the process. I need help, even though, to look at me, you’d think I was a head case. Pun very much intended.

Botox. I’ve never had it, but I think it’s time.

This whole wrinkle situation. I’ve been using Duac Topical Gel and Differin gel 0.1% because I have these tiny bumps on my forehead that you can only see in certain light.

This white dots under my eyes. You know, if you’re looking in a 100x magnified mirror. I look like my grandfather.

The “beauty mark” on my left nipple. TMI, but there it is. It either looks like one beauty mark layered on top of another, or it’s bad news. Doc, you need to check out this nip.

Speaking of beauty marks… I HATE THE ONE ON MY FACE. It’s flat, yes, on the right side of my face. But I now officially HATE it and need a plastic surgeon to remove it. I need recommendations. Work with me. Now my daughter and I can walk around with matching face bandages after our “procedures.”

Stress. You couldn’t happen to prescribe something to help me deal with learning to be an Occupational Therapist could you? But that’s stress I air and share on my facebook page.