The cookies that I made last night SUCK. White chocolate dipped cherry shortbread cookies. Yes, it sounds like a nice flavor profile, the cooling effect of white chocolate, similar to that of the inside of a truffle, and the fanciful cherry. I figured the red cherry was festive, and superior over the crap peppermint bark people manage to include as if it’s some type of win to find peppermint anywhere. What is up with shit recipes that everyone comments on, saying what “crowd pleasers they were!”? Listen you Better Homes & Gardens readers, and listen good. Middle America needs to work on her taste buds. And, truly, what was I thinking? Know how you sometimes think some hick recipe made with lard will be “the recipe!” – your secret spam of a recipe? Well, no, this White Chocolate Cherry Shortbread is not that recipe. See Paula Deen for such artery artistry.
I hate modern shit. Why are birds on wires or vines always included? Newsflash, birds and vines are not in the least bit modern. You’re better off sticking to retro-Jetsons art. Yes, retro-modern. The very thought is cringe-worthy. Wire chairs, guitar art, and fabric-covered buttons. These Brady Bunch etsy finds are a few of my least favorite things.
Why do people make “roasts” for the holidays? Anything with the word “rump” is hardly festive, and besides, when’s the last time someone raved about a roast? Make a lasagna or a mignon and save the roasts for Comedy Central.
Abigail’s pants just fell down when Phil was lifting her overhead, doing arm exercises. And all I could think when I saw her white cheeks, “I still can’t believe my children are potty trained. This is the greatest thing ever.”
Why doesn’t Eye-fi have a professional SLR camera option? No more card readers, just automatic, wireless image transfers to your computer or flickr page. SLRs don’t use flash drives. Mine doesn’t, anyway. And the “adapter” sold for SLRs is said to be very limited, and in some cases, to corrupt files. WTF? Why hasn’t Eye-fi, or anyone, made a wireless compact flash card yet? What kind of turd nonsense is that?
