LOST: a spider ejaculated on Allison Janney’s hair

Lost notes, live, as I see it.

That chick, I know her. She’s Richard Alpert’s woman, peg perego. Crap, no, that was Isabella. This lady before our eyes is Claudia; we haven’t met her before. And wait, Allison Janney? For real? Is Claidia’s baby going to turn out to be babies? Plural? Twins, perhaps? One fair haired, the other dark and wily? Jacob and the man in black? Cain & Abel? Gee, surprise surprise. Is it amazing that I know this shit, or does everyone, before it even happens?

Well, now didn’t see Allison Janney as the head bashing type. This reminds me of the whole premonition to Claire, how she mustn’t let anyone else raise Aaron. And, what’s that? Is Allison Janney looming/weaving? We’ve seen this type of thing before, at the foot of the statue, before our Senor Lockness tricks Ben Linus into killing Jacob. I’ve always believed in this Cain & Abel thing. It’s so very Adam + Eve, a mirror to season 1.

Ah, and here are the constant rules: "I’ve made it so you can never hurt each other" Ms. Janney tells them. And now, a coma victim’s vision: a light at the end of a tunnel. Man is greedy, she says, and man has a light inside him, a light he’s greedy for. A small piece of what you see in that tunnel. And he’ll come looking for it. And I can’t protect it forever. One of you will have to do it.

Then Claudia, the dead mother who was hit in the head by a rock by Allison Janney, shows up, visible only to Young Lockness monster. "Why can’t Jacob see you?" Because I’m dead, she says, admitting that he comes from across the sea, that she’s their mother, and those strange men Lockness sees are "their people."

Jacob asks Janney, did you really kill my mother? Yes, she admits, if I’d let her live, she’d have taken you to her people, and those people are bad. "Am I a good person?" he asks. Of course, she responds. "Then why do you love him more than you love me?" She plays the mama card, with the lie: "I love you in different ways." Then she’s relieved when he says, after she pleads, that he will stay with her.

Years later, he’s still looming/weaving and playing the black and white (evil and good) board game with Lockness monster. Lockness admits to Jacob that Janney was right. These "people" he was with all these 30 years are greedy and manipulative. They are, he says, "a means to an end." Hello Senor Niccolò Machiavelli. He thrusts a knife in the air, knowing it will lock into place, thanks to magnetic forces of the island.

Janney looks terribly nervous when she hears from Jacob that young Sir Lockness has found a way to leave the island. All I can think right now? It would be cool if Janney were God. She’s not, but I love the idea that they’d make a chick God. Okay, ball back in bowl.

Janney goes to see youngish Sir Lockness. He’s standing beside the Donkey wheel, prying a rock from the wall, exposing a crack of light. Explaining that he’s built the wheel to work with the water and the light. Oh boy, she’s gonna try to kill him. I see it happening. She’s gonna try. She is.

They embrace. She tells him not to leave, don’t do this. He says he must, that he doesn’t belong here. And then, she hugs him with an apology. Damn straight, woman, I know where this is going. What’s she apologizing for? She’s about to… yup, knocked him upside the head, just as she did to his mama.

Then, she wakes Jacob to say, "I had no choice, I had to say goodbye." Then she shows Jacob to the light, telling him that he must protect it, "Life, death, rebirth, the source, the heart of the island. Promise me, no matter what, that you’ll never go down there." Would I die? "It would be worse than dying, Jacob, much worse." She speaks in tongue, says a blessing over the wine, offers him a sip, signifying his promise to protect the island. Her time is done, and even though Lockness was her first choice, she says, it was always supposed to be Jacob, she sees that now, then begs him to take a sip. Now, she says, you and I are the same.

Senor Smoke it wakes, sees a blast of smoke in the distance. Gosh, we’ve seen this signal before (a crash, a signal). Look at this genocide. Sir Smokey’s people are dead, and he sees the board game he played with his brother Jacob, holding it up to the sky in rage. It’s war, alright.

Sorry, but, it looks like a SPIDER ejaculated on Allison Janney’s hair. What in the hell is that nest she’s wearing? She tells her boy Jacob to be careful while out collecting firewood, almost with a sense that she’ll never see him again. She knows what’s about to happen, just as Eloise knew what would happen with her son Daniel Faraday (the whispering creepy dude). Sir Lockness finds Janney, looking through the boys’ game, and she’s gutted by her "adopted" son, Sir Smokes a Lot. Jacob witnesses this, and once Janney dies, with the final words, "THANK YOU" to sir Smokes It, as if his killing her has finally set her free, with the black and white stones of the game near her lifeless hand, Jacob grabs Sir Smoke it, and thrusts him into that light place, the place Janney had warned him never to go inside. Jacob punches his brother out, face down in the stream, flowing into "the light" only to come out… wait for it… the birth of The Smoke Monster. Fook yeah!

Now that’s some good shite. I so know what’s happening next.

Jacob then finds the body of his brother, puts him down in his lair, tending to his dead mother, with the white and black rocks near her palm. Jacob picks them up, adding them to the satchel, linking the lifeless hands of his brother and mother’s bodies. And then, BAM, Kate and Jake, in flashback, find said satchel amid the remains of… Adam and Eve. Called it.

Only, if Janney made it impossible for Jacob and his bro to kill each other, it means that the body of "Adam" is just a body? One Sir Smoke It got back once he became the Lockness smoke monster? I don’t know what happens next. Except this theme, we’ve seen it before, which I’m sure, is the whole point.



  1. That’s not Richard’s wife. Would have been cool, but it’s not her. Didn’t she die?

    1. Author

      Yep, Isabella and Claudia are dead.
      Claudia is mentioned in the New Testament: “She sent a message to her husband asking him not to condemn Jesus Christ to death: While Pilate was sitting in the judgment hall, his wife sent him a message: “Have nothing to do with that innocent man, because in a dream last night, I suffered much on account of him.”

      1. Author

        I can’t help but thing that all of this is going to end with us (the psycho fans) left wondering, which side was “good?” Which was “evil,” as if things were that simple, that “black” and “white.” Makes me think of Mr. Eko. and his stick. Mr. Eko died when he chased his dead brother “aka Smokey on the pretend” then was “killed” by the black smoke.

  2. Allison Janney is Mother Earth; the kids are the Devil and God; the Island is the Garden of Eden; the passengers are us. The rest is good story-telling. I predict that Good will overcome Evil, the Island will dissapear, and all the people will go back some other version of their various lifelines. Or not ..

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