Can you sit down?
Do I have to?
Please, it’s important.

I just… would you still love me, respect me, and feel proud of me if I weren’t a writer? If I was just their mother for a while?
Well, I’d love you. I guess I’d respect you, but…
Way to show unconditional love.
I said I’d still love you!
But why can’t you love, respect, and still be proud of me, no matter what I do?
I’d be proud of your past accomplishments!
That’s not cool! My dad loves, respects, and is proud of me no matter what. You should be too.
Well, I wouldn’t be cool with it, because deep down, I know you’re not cool with it.

What if I lost all my limbs and I couldn’t write anymore? Then would you still love, respect, and be proud of me?
Are we really going there?
…
Come on, Steven Hawking has written tons of things with just his eyes.

I hate you.

Okay, just to explain… I would love you, I just would feel like you’re giving up, and that’s not the person I know.

I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t be proud that I was this amazing mother. Why isn’t that enough?

Because it’s not you. You’re more.

But I want to know that no matter what I do, I’m enough. That you’d be proud of me no matter what.

So, you’d be proud of me if I chose to quit my job and just be a father?

No.

Well then, there’s your answer. Would you respect me if I didn’t want to work but just wanted to be the best father I could be? Don’t answer, I know what you’d say… "I married a dead beat."

It makes me a hypocrite, for sure. An honest hypocrite married to an honest man who doesn’t want to be married to someone who just wants to be a mother.

*And of course I’m not saying "just a mother" as in ONLY, as in how insignificant. I meant just focus on being a mom. If all I wanted to do in the whole world is be their mother and make it my full-time job to do so, even if only for a few years, he’d never be okay with that choice. I think it comes down to what we "know," what we grew up with and took away from that experience.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY: BOOK TOUR WHO’RE

FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY: RECONCILIATION SONGS